by Joan DeArtemis, M.Div.

The Calvinist work ethic, the  Protestant work ethic or the Puritan work ethic is a concept in finances (historically), sociology, and religion, which stresses that solid effort, self-control and thrift are a consequence of an individual's contribution to the standards advocated by Protestantism, and, particularly Calvinism. It is also the driving force behind American capitalism, as well as the core belief in what is known as “prosperity gospel”. 

In short, if you grew up in the United States, you have been taught, since birth, that the harder you work, the more successful you will be. Of course, the darker side of this reasoning is, the more successful you are, the more you must have worked in order to attain your success. Taking it even a step darker, those who are successful are more worthy than those who are not, because, obviously, if you are not successful (by American standards), then you must be lazy.

Any thinking person knows, of course, that this is not the case. There are plenty of very hard working people who live well below the poverty level (take, for example, the workers that pick the food that you eat every day), and, plenty of people who inherit large sums of money that have never worked a day in their lives. However, the American Puritan work ethic is a hard habit to break, especially if you grew up in the U.S. 

Thinking back to my own magickal training, for most of my life I have believed that nothing worth doing was not also worth my complete commitment of focus and discipline. Regular daily rituals which included intense focus, memorization, hand written spells and rituals (in calligraphy, of course!), and, anything else I could do to make the process as difficult as possible (because, I must be working at this!). 

When I began studying spiritual care, however, I had to re-think some of my values. You see, there I was in seminary, and I was approaching it just like I did everything--by working at it until I dropped. And, it turns out, to be successful in seminary, this is really what you have to do in order to get the grades (M.Div.s are, by design, very work-intensive). However, this work-till-you-drop approach is actually counter-productive when one is actually doing spiritual care. 

The reason is the primary quality that one needs in order to provide spiritual care is compassion. This applies whether one is doing tarot, astrology, rune reading, or the more traditional active listening performed by chaplains. 

One cannot provide care for another unless one is able to feel compassion. And, it turns out, exhaustion greatly impedes one’s ability to feel compassion. 

Therefore, in order to become a successful spiritual care provider, I needed to learn a new skill: self-care. This was not easy for me. This is completely counter to everything I had been taught growing up. You mean, I am supposed to, not only, get 8-9 hours of sleep a night, but I am also supposed to exercise, rest, meditate, pray, sit down to eat and even… play? How does one find the time for all of those things when even showering feels like a decadent luxury? 

Americans work more hours per week than workers in any other country in the world. We also only get about 40% of the sleep that we need to be healthy. No wonder we have so many physical and mental health issues! However, if we are going to become really excellent spiritual care providers, we had to do things differently. We have to take care of ourselves first!

When we fly on an airplane, parents are told to put the oxygen mask onto themselves first, then their children. This is the same principle. No one can care for another without caring for her or himself first. This is just reality.

So, what I tell anyone who wants to pursue a path of spiritual care, you have to start to develop a routine of self-care, right from the beginning. Don’t worry, developing self-care can be hard work (see what I did there?). You don’t have to give up focus and discipline; in fact, focus and discipline can actually help you out here. 

I recommend starting out by putting sleep time in your calendar (provided, you are like most Americans and you only get about 4-6 hours per night). Mark off nine hours per night. Why nine? Because you are not going to be able to go right to sleep. Also, try to make sure that they are, as much as possible, at the same time. Irregular sleep is worse than not enough sleep. 

Once you have done this, schedule your meal times. Promise yourself that you are going to try to eat your meals at around the same time every day. And, as much as possible, sit down and eat with friends or loved ones. Humans are social animals. We are evolved to eat in groups.

Meditate, every day. Now, many people find no value in just sitting for an hour a day. A moving mediation is just as good (like, walking, fishing, knitting, etc). Whatever works for you, do it. It will make you a healthier, happier person. 

Talk about your feeling, either with a trusted companion, or in a journal. And, finally, play.

Find something that you find to be fun… and do it! There is no shame in having fun! It is good for you!

Try it. Yes, it will be hard at first, and you will not be perfect at it. But, spiritual care is a practice. We have to keep practicing it, and it will get better. Trust me. I’m a chaplain.