Five of us, variously exhausted or uplifted, sat distributed on couches in the interview room. Our meditation teacher was checking in with us in the midst of a week-long silent retreat. One by one we responded. As usual, there were the usual happy yogis who had reached new heights of concentration, complete with interesting spiritual effects. The rest of us were detailing our rather more mundane struggles with the practice: distractions, obsessive thoughts, doubts. I had just finished adding my troubles to the pile when the teacher sent me a level look and said: “This is how it is right now.”
This is how it is right now. The whole of the Dharma in seven words.
It was day three of a seven-day meditation retreat and I was busy sabotaging my practice by wallowing in guilt. At the mid-week interview with the meditation leader I complained about these negative thoughts: “I don’t know why I do this to myself.”
“But are you doing it?” she said. “Are you doing it?”
Well, no. My thoughts were basically thinking themselves, assailing me when whether I wanted them or not. The more closely I observed myself, the more I came to the conclusion that I had ridiculously little control over the thoughts and reactions that drove me into various states and actions.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always craved recognition. It’s not a surprise really. I grew up in a situation where the majority of attention I got was negative. I’d get grounded on the drop of a coin, or was told I was a disappointment on a regular basis and no matter what I did, it was never enough. That was the seed for my desire to be recognized.
We are taking a brief break from talking about the lastest construction project at White Mountain Druid Sanctuary because it's winter and we can't get much built with snow on the ground. This blog is written by a different grove member than the others - enjoy!
Kile Martz
I'll tell you how "good" it was. I went to lunch today with my partner and a dear friend. We happened to run into another friend and we all sat toget...
Victoria
Victoria Wednesday, 14 August 2019 · I honour the mothers and fathers of my ancestral lineage. Heathens get too wrapped up in individual ancestors whe...
Steven Posch
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To call both such g...
Steven Posch
Ah, but what if we read Murray, not as historic history, but as mythic history? Then her work becomes a guide to how to think and what to do. It teach...
