We're all trying to become better people. We've slogged through endless exercises for positive thinking, and we hope to evolve in the fullness of time so that we might commit fewer mistakes. But, in the meantime, what a long, bumpy, land-mine strewn road it is! And we are always told that there are no shortcuts.

Oh come on, not even one? Isn't there at least one little trick, one small Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card that we can use to our benefit when the going gets rough?

Okay, pilgrim. Since you've asked so politely - here is one little trick.

Visualize that person who pushes your buttons all the time; the one who gets under your skin and can turn you from Gandhi into Godzilla with only three or four well-chosen words. If you could ever come to peace in dealing with that one person, the rest of the galaxy would be a piece of cake!

Here's what you need to understand about that person: No matter how it sounds, those words are not meant as a criticism. They are simply an observation. Drum that into your consciousness.

It is important for your inner self to adopt this attitude. Even if that person does mean it as a criticism, let your third eye see that there is a legitimate Observation at the core of it.

Since it is an observation, it's to your benefit to listen to it. Instead of your usual defensive knee-jerk reaction, it'll be so much better to take a calming breath and then say something like, “Oh my gosh. Do I really do that?” If the observation has merit, you can only improve yourself by considering the possibility of it. On the other hand, if the observer has made a mistake about your intent, if you don't take it personally you will have the opportunity to correct that mistake and to explain your true attitude. Win-win for both of you.

Of course, turnabout is fair play. The next time you are tempted to criticize someone, soften your attitude and turn it into an Observation. Not a criticism, just an observation of something you have noticed. No personalities involved, and no judgment. As in, “I've noticed that in such-and-such a situation, you tend to do thus-and-so. Can you explain to me what that's about?” It may turn out that the person has an excellent reason for what he or she does - no basis for criticism at all, when you understand what's really happening! Otherwise, it may be that your unbiased observation may help him or her to modify their behavior in a manner beneficial to everyone.

It's always better to make a friend than to aggravate an enemy. It's also harder to accomplish, which in itself rather proves the adage. The more challenging the achievement, the greater the rewards.

It may be just a little trick, but don't let its simplicity fool you. It can be very, very valuable.