It takes courage to walk into the fire, to walk straight into passion, initiation, illumination, rage and purification.

I have both lived in the fire and avoided the fire, I have gone from one extreme to another, until, at long last a balance arose within myself.

The Spring season rules the Fire element in the lineage that I was taught from. The Spring season is ushered in during the astrological arrival of Aries, the fire ruled, warrioress, leading sign of the zodiac.

Last year I wrote about the the trauma and anxiety that Spring had represented to me for years and how I came to walk through my Springtime wounds and into a reality where I, like most of the world, can celebrate and honour the returning Maiden season with all of her hope, beauty and renewal.

My relationship with the Spring is intimately connected to my relationship with the Fire element, while trauma healing work and many other shamanic modalities were a part of my reconciliation with Spring, so too was the relationship that I built with the Fire element a part of that reconciliation. Without a conscious connection and appreciation of Fire I could not enjoy the Spring.

The years that I spent living in the Fire were my childhood years, they were fraught with fighting for a voice, for a right to be, for a space to be, fighting to be treated with respect and dignity, yelling to be heard over voices much louder than mine that yelled at me. I fought to actualize passions in a world that wouldn't allow me to be me, I fought to be loved, I fought and I fought and I fought. I was dominated, shut up, lorded over, laughed at and ridiculed. By the time I was a teenager I turned to substances and chemicals that kept the fires raging within, the people I dated demanded that I fight to maintain a semblance of who I was as they reflected role models from my younger years that had instilled in me a belief that love felt like a fight.

When I found my path inwards, when I dedicated my life to walking the spiral path and connecting internally to the Creator, to living from spiritual principles, a whole new reality opened up for me. I did my healing work around my past, I began to find new tools to express myself, I found ways to channel anger and the short fuse that I had been conditioned to have. I learnt to "let things happen, rather than make things happen." The path of Grace rose up to meet me and I learnt how to flow, to surrender, to let it be.

The people that walked into my life loved me simply for being me, I didn't need to prove myself or fight for a place at the table, life became a peaceful and safe place, the only real challenge being old fears and conditioning that would come up to haunt me and to scare me, telling me that things could never be as smooth as they seemed and that I best light a fire under my life and quicken things up. Despite these fears I did no such thing, I would rather flow, surrender and wait twice as long than I would risk igniting that flame within, I simply did not want the way that life felt once upon a time to ever re-emerge.

These were my years of resisting the fire, I dressed much less sensual and free than I ever had before. I stayed quiet in group discussions that inspired me to add depth and personal truth for fear of getting too worked up, I spent days in anxiety after I did loose my temper, sure that my new life was only moments from being ripped away from me. I didn't set goals, I didn't pursue inspirations. I resisted anything that quickened me.

When I began my Priestess training, the Priestess that taught me spent four weeks having me acquaint myself with each season and it's associated element and Goddess archetype. As you can imagine, I loved working with the Water element, which is associated with Summer and I loved working with the mystical, deep and cooling season of Autumn. 

The Maiden, the Spring and the Fire element, all each other's companions, brought up dread and resistance. I didn't know that I had been resisting the fire, I didn't know much of what I have written about today, all that I knew was how I felt, I wanted nothing to do with my destructive and overheated fiery Maiden self.

I was gently encouraged to continue to explore my relationship with the Fire, a Priestess calls on all of the elements in her work and I would be no exception.

This part of my Priestess training was the first time that I got to choose to willingly walk into the fire, though I had thought there was nothing that I wanted less than to re-feel the intensity of the fire, I found that not being able to fully encompass my path as a Priestess, not being able to fully encompass myself as a woman was far more frightening than walking into the fire.

And so I did, I didn't jump in, I slowly stepped one toe at a time into the fire. I reclaimed my sensuality on the outside as one of my first steps back into the fire. I had always remained sensual behind closed doors, but in the outside world I had taken on a much more reserved appearance than truly reflected who I was. This step received backlash from the man that I was soon to leave. Next was beginning to claim my own language, I began to change traditional he's to she's in conversation, this also infuriated my boyfriend at the time, it invited eye rolls from people that I would interact with. I didn't change my language, and I didn't fight either, I didn't fight to speak my truth and I didn't fight for my right to dress in a way the reflected my spirit, I simply did it and stood in the fire of my right to do so. Soon after that I began to set goals, I began to dream. I didn't force those dreams or goals to happen, I didn't deem myself a failure if they didn't manifest immediately, but I allowed my dreams and my goals to fuel me. This fire ignited a path that took me to Glastonbury, a place that I floated through for seven magical days, I returned home and dumped my misogynistic boyfriend who proceeded to cyber stalk and threaten me, for a full year. I found my fire by standing my ground, not trying to appease him, but also not fighting him. 

From there the fire led me to a house that I shared with two women, I held ceremony and workshops for the first time ever, I had a trip to New York open up and I fell in love with my husband. After meeting my husband on that trip, the fire became fully ignited within. There was no place and no situation in the world that would stop my love for him. I recognized him as a twin flame, our love affair was passionate and romantic as we travelled long distant to be together and spent agonizing weeks apart. It was stressful and frightening as two artistically inclined folks navigated their way through dense immigration paper work. The night that I jumped into his arms at the airport after he officially immigrated and asked him "is it finally over?" fireworks followed our every step. 

Each step further into the fire found me more alive, more juicy, more magnetizing than I had ever been before. This was my step back into the fire.

Years have passed, I am married now, I am a mother. We live in a quiet rural town, life is becoming simplified as we settle into the years of parenthood. This is a vision that we both share, yet within these parenting years we both maintain a steady inner flame, a flame that both warms our home, our marriage and is an anchor to our authentic, passionate, artistic selves.

Two weeks ago I was preparing for a Spring Equinox ceremony that I was holding at the temple room in our home. I was reading about the Fire element and the Spring season, the book that I was reading discussed how fire influences each person physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. I knew when I read this that my challenge in the past had been an over abundance of emotional fire, I didn't know how to channel fire into the other area's of my life, and all things that affected me emotionally were instantly blown up into great flames of destruction and war.

Today I can direct the inner flames, there are times that I need an emotional flame of fire to give me the power to say no, to speak up, to affirm that something is not acceptable and to own my power and my right in the moment.

There are also times for that flame to warm my body, to create a sensual fire in my belly, to heat the food in my home and to keep our hearth toasty and cozy.

Intellectually the fire ignites inspirational idea's for my writing, artistic projects and conversations with other artists and walkers of the way.

And spiritually, spiritual fire is my favourite expression of fire, it is what make me passionate for Goddess, it is what awakens me and quickens my inner knowing of spiritual truth. Spiritual fire gives me courage to trust and to enter the unknown, spiritual fire makes me a Goddess of Sovereignty.

I watch my Maiden daughter with glee and revel in her fire, in her spirit and her innate sense of self justice, I welcome and embrace the fire of the Maiden within myself and within the Spring season.

I give thanks to those that have played the role of teacher, inspirator and encourager along the spiral path that I have journeyed thus far. And I am eternally grateful to the Divine Goddess that has guided my steps and brought me full circle back to a life of fiery passion that is balanced out with surrender, flow, grounding and inspiration.

As I enter this next season I open up to the Fire element and invite it to work in and through my life experience, I encourage anyone that flows with the wheel of the year to do the same, below are some tools to deepen your relationship to the fire.

PHYSICAL  FIRE

Practice kryia breathing, this is a yogic breathing technique that purifies the mind, body and soul and ignites your inner fire, ask your yoga teacher about classes that teach this technique or youtube some simple but effective video's that will show you how to practice this breath in the morning as you awaken and begin your day.

Eat spicy foods, light up your spicy and sensual self with the aid of fiery foods.

Wear fiery colours. Each colour resonates at it's own vibration and frequency, reds, oranges and yellows connect you to your bottom three chakra's, they are also associated with the fire element and will influence your vibrational field. You can decorate with fiery tones in your home.

Sweat! Get moving, dance, run, jump around, get your blood moving and pumping.

Sex, lot's of sweaty, conscious, wonderful sex fires up your passion, your bliss and your joy.

Build a fire, when the sun finally goes down and the stars begin to twinkle their white fire in the sky, build a bon fire and dance around the fire, under the light of a full moon gives you a balance of both solar and lunar fire.

EMOTIONAL FIRE

Get fired up! Find a cause, a movement, an artist, something that moves you deeply and immerse yourself in it. This doesn't need to be a cause that infuriates you, though you may feel liberated getting upset about a cause that means something to you. It could also be something that resonates with your soul's purpose, anything that insights a sense of passion and movement within will do. 

Express your fire. Once you have found something that ignites your inner passion allow that passion to move through you. Paint, write, speak, sing, advocate. Birth your passion into existence, care for your passion baby, love it deeply, protect it, die for it.

Say no. Each and every time you don't mean yes say no. Say it in a loud and boisterous manner. Say it quietly and gently. Write it as a response, express no in whatever way feels safe and empowering to you, but own your no. Women are conditioned to never say no, we are taught to skirt around the issue, to appease, to apologize. See what it feels like to simply say no, feel the fire of power that brews in your body every time that you do.

Share your feelings, with a friend, a lover, a therapist, a Priestess, a journal, the Divine. 

Feel your feelings. Notice the ways that you try to dull your feelings, that you go to suppress, to quiet, to deny or to lessen your feelings. Allow them to be, feel them fully. Don't shy away from a single emotion. Fully enter each emotion.

Scream. Find a safe space to just scream. Scream for fun, scream for rage, scream for liberation, scream for all of the times the world has tried to silence you. Just open up and allow your scream to come through

INTELLECTUAL FIRE

Follow the thoughts that light you up.

Begin your day with inspirational words, take time to sit facing the sun and read words of truth and art that inspire you to open your mind and to expand your awareness of yourself and the world at large.

Imagine freely. Do not limit your imagination, keep practicality at bay when you are imagining. Allow yourself to wander through the recesses of your mind as you did as a child, in this imagining you are opening to worlds upon worlds that vibrate beyond the world that you are in. Within these imaginings will come seeds of passion that will lead to new creations in your life.

Lucid dream. Learning how to lucid dream opens you up to a whole other level of imagination and magic, the inspiration and confidence that will follow you into your life after you have learnt how to navigate the dream realm will illuminate a life experience of magic and ease.

Think fast. Practice automatic writing, put your pen to paper and just let it come blazing out. As you allow your subconscious to write faster than your conscious mind can control, you light the fires of deeper truth and guidance than you would have previously known.

Be mindful in your thoughts. Take breaks from thinking when the thoughts cease to be inspirational and allow the fire to rise up within your mind, do not try to control the fire, only seek to stoke the fire by adding winds of thought and space for it to build within your mind.

SPIRITUAL FIRE

Visit a sweat lodge.

Pray for the element of fire to illuminate your spiritual path. Focus on satori moments and allow for the opportunity of instant enlightenment to rise up within your spirit. Pray to the Fire Goddesses, allow one of them to pick you and follow in Her footsteps.

Seek out a spiritual path that lights your soul on fire. Settle for nothing less than complete passion, love and devotion to the spiritual path that you decide to follow.

Have a love affair with the Divine. Call the Divine your Beloved, read the book "Love Poem's from God." Go out on a date with the Divine, write love letters to the Divine, intend to fall madly and deeply in love with the Divine, it is a spiritual experience that is incomparable.

Work with the expression of the Creator as Maiden. Learn about how the Maiden represents an aspect of the Goddess, invite the Maiden into your life. Call upon your inner Maiden self, play, dance, be silly and have fun with the Maiden expression of Goddess.

Explore tantric spirituality for a season. Learn about the fires within it's sexual teachings, and also learn about the merging of duality that tantra offers her students. Allow the tantric philosophy to bring you into contact with your fiery spirit. In tantra all expressions of life is embraced as Divine, tantra is one of the fieriest spiritual teachings that I know of.

Above are but a few ways that each one of us can begin a relationship or build upon one that already exists with the Fire element. This relationship brings us into closer relation with the Spring season and thus with the wheel of the year and the many deep and transformative lessons that it contains.

As we enter this season may we embrace the fire and enter it willingly and consciously and let us watch with bated breath as the Fire element light up our life.

Grace Be With You,

Priestess of Grace,

Candise Soaring Butterfly

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