Smash the patriarchy! That's a common cry these days in our efforts to create a more compassionate, egalitarian, inclusive world.

In the Tribe, we've talked about "the patriarchy" for a long time. But eventually we decided that wasn't the most accurate term for the issues we face today.

One of our Board members, Bryan Hewitt, came up with another term, with a little help from the goddess Therasia: Big Man culture.

When he was writing his book Vikaro, he needed a term that meant more or less what we mean when we say "the patriarchy," but one that would be from a point of view outside of patriarchal society, in other words, from a different way of viewing and experiencing life and relationships.

Instead of focusing on the structure of society (patriarchy, matriarchy, etc.) the term Big Man focuses on individuals and relationships. It points up the idea of one person being larger / higher / greater than others, in an authoritarian hierarchy - separate from others and above them, rather than being one of them.

The term "Big Man culture" also points to the fact that the authoritarian dominator system is run by specific individuals: the Big Men. Not some nebulous structure (the patriarchy) but specific human beings who are perpetuating the system for their own benefit, to most everyone else's detriment.

You can't point your finger at the patriarchy. But you absolutely can point to Big Men and figure out how they came to power, identify the systemic structures that support them, and (hopefully) find a way to dismantle those power structures.

As you've no doubt realized, Big Men in the modern world aren't always men anymore, though the majority of them still are.

But they do always desire to have power and control over others rather than working with them. Power over instead of power with. Competition instead of cooperation. Indifference and tyranny rather than compassion and empathy. Selfishness rather than generosity.

You get the idea.

As Bryan puts it, "A Big Man grows a big body but not a big heart."

As I've described Big Men above, I've also described their counterparts: men (and people of all genders) who have that second set of characteristics and who use them to help others and make the world a better place.

So as we work to dismantle Big Man culture and replace it with something more humane, let's do our best to help everyone grow big hearts.