PaganSquare


PaganSquare is a community blog space where Pagans can discuss topics relevant to the life and spiritual practice of all Pagans.

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Login
    Login Login form
Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in satire

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

 

 

Has anybody else noticed that there's nary a vegetable bouillon cube to be found at the stores?

I know, I know. Vegetable bouillon cubes are outré, taboo to serious cooks. Well, la-dee-da.

Me, I like them. They're quick, they're easy and, when you cook vegetarian, tossing one in can add that extra layer of base flavor that makes the difference between good and really good.

But—dammit—there aren't any to be had.

I ran out just before Thanksgiving. Since then, I've looked for more every single time that I've been at the store.

Ix-nay.

Then I discovered the reason why.

You know all those baby-eating cannibals that the Q-Anon election-deniers are so worried about?

Last modified on

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

 

 

In the pagan world, local custom takes priority. One could regard this as a general principle of pagan social protocol.

If in your valley, you keep Yule in one way, then when I'm visiting you over the Winter Solstice, that's damn well how I'm going to keep Yule too, regardless of how I may celebrate back at home.

Hey, you have the perfect right to be wrong if you want to.

Needless to say, there's a certain amount of tension here with the universal human belief that the Right Way to Do Something Is—of course—the Way That I Do It.

In practice, it's a balancing act. If you tell me that your name is Xfghstk, pronounced “Tom,” I will call you Tom to your face. What I call you behind your back is another matter, and you can't say you weren't asking for it.

To extend this principle of Local Priority, I generally ride with the idea that the local pronunciation is the correct one; still, that horse will take you only so far. When I hear native Midwesterners drawling out Nyaaawlunz, in verbal caricature of some son or daughter of the Crescent City, I cringe. Maybe that's how they say it Down There, boyo, but Up Here at this end of the Mississippi we say New Orleans. That's four syllables, mind you, not three. Dialect is dialect, but affectation, after all, is affectation.

Case in point: Appalachian. North of the Smith and Wesson Line, we say: AppaLAYshun. South of it, AppaLATCHun.

This raises problems for inveterate listeners to National Public Radio such as myself. Unfortunately—NPR being based in DC—this means that the NPR Received Pronunciation is AppaLATCHun.

I confess, I grind my teeth whenever I hear this. (It bothers me in particular when Aaron Copeland's Appalachian Spring gets deformed into AppaLATCHun Spring. Shudder.) From Southrons, I'll accept that pronunciation, since they have their own customs, and probably don't know any better.

When, however, I hear fellow NPR-listening Northrons parroting that pronunciation, I invariably feel the need to intervene.

“In the part of AppaLAYsha that I come from, we say AppaLAYsha,” I admonish.

Last modified on

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

 

Special coverage: White House coronavirus briefing for March 20 | WRVO  Public Media

 

AP: Washington D. C.

Twenty-four hours after being locked out of his Twitter account, the lifeless body of Donald Trump has been discovered in a White House bedroom.

“It would appear that the immediate cause of death was spontaneous cranial frangor,” said Trump's personal physician, Dr. Malachi Mavet, adding: “In short, his head exploded.”

Doctors at Walter Reed Medical Center suggested that the inability to Tweet may well have precipitated the explosion. Trump, of course, has long been known for his compulsive and logorrheic Tweetstorming.

“His last action as president was, literally, to paint the room red,” said a close personal aide, speaking on condition of anonymity.

While investigators found no evidence of foul play, the investigating FBI forensics team was mystified by the total lack of any cerebral material.

“There's blood, hair, skin, and skull here everywhere,” said one investigator, “but so far no brain matter.”

Last modified on
Recent comment in this post - Show all comments
  • Jamie
    Jamie says #
    Mr. Posch, Maybe it really happened, and he got re-animated by the Q-Anon Shaman...with his magical American flag spear. I can t

Papadopoulos claimed Trump phone call and larger campaign role - POLITICO

 

AP, Washington D.C.

It took nearly six weeks, but Donald Trump has finally acknowledged that he did, indeed, lose the election, and has called President-Elect Joe Biden to offer his congratulations.

“Even a big, whiny baby like me has to man up and face reality eventually,” Trump told Biden on Tuesday. “I don't know why it's taken me so long to pull my head out of my own ass. You beat me fair and square, and it's time for me to stop pouting like a spoiled little girl and admit it.”

Trump's unexpected change of heart stunned his opponent and left him momentarily speechless.

Undaunted, Trump continued. “My presidency has been a total disaster from beginning to end. I'm a loser, a moron, and an incompetent. It's time for me to get my ugly, fat ass out of here and make room for someone who can clean up the mess that I've made of this job, and of this nation.”

"I have to admit, Joe, you were right," he told Biden in a moment of uncharacteristic candor. "I really have been the worst president this country has ever had. While Americans are dying at the rate of two per minute, I've been holed up at the White House pitching hissy fits. I've totally mishandled this pandemic from the start, and the blood of more than 300,000 of my fellow-citizens is on my hands. I'll never live down the shame of it. They really should call it the 'Trump virus'."

When asked about his post-White House plans, Trump responded, “I'm finished with politics. Assuming they don't throw me in jail—where, frankly, I deserve to be—I'm going back to Mar-a-Lago and playing golf for the rest of my life. It's the only thing that I'm fit to do,” adding: “Meanwhile, I'm going to order my pathetic staff of lickspittles and toadies to do everything that they can to ease the transition to a real government. I'm delusional, a total loser, I've made a mess of everything I've touched, and it's time for me to get out of the way and let a better man take over.”

Trump's sudden about-face has stunned the Republican establishment.

Last modified on
The One Thing Never to Say to a Cowan Man

Although as contemporary pagans, we spend much of our lives surrounded by cowans—non-pagans—there remains much about cowan thinking that pagans find opaque.

So, in the interest of maintaining grith—the old Witch word for “peace between communities”—I'd like to offer a point of inter-communal etiquette that might well save you from a potentially embarrassing situation.

Never compare a cowan man to a woman.

If you do, he will interpret it as an insult.

If you're thinking: But that doesn't make any sense; why would anyone find being compared to a woman insulting? please be aware that I share your bewilderment.

Even so, counter-intuitive as it may seem, this is how many cowans think, and as good pagan neighbors, it's our responsibility to be aware and to be respectful, even when we disagree.

Last modified on
McConnell Spearheads Vote to Send Covid-Impregnated PPEs to Blue States

AP: Washington, DC

Along strict party lines, the Republican-dominated US Senate voted Friday to allocate $5 billion to send masks and gloves impregnated with Covid-19 virus to all Blue States.

The controversial initiative, spearheaded by Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell (R KY), was lambasted by some as a blatant attempt to suppress Democratic turnout in this fall's upcoming presidential election.

McConnell denied such claims, while admitting that the action could have that effect. “We're only trying to level the playing field,” he told reporters. “With so many Red States deciding to prematurely lift anti-Covid stay-at-home orders, the effect on mindless idio—I mean, staunchly Republican voters—is virtually guaranteed to be devastating.”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D CA) called the Senate's actions “cynical" and "disgraceful.”

Citing the recent decision of Wisconsin's Supreme Court—dominated by Republican-appointed judges—to force a Democratic primary election with the clear intent to endanger Left-leaning voters, McConnell retorted, “There's ample precedent for this kind of action in American history.”

Last modified on
Recent Comments - Show all comments
  • Steven Posch
    Steven Posch says #
    Thanks and good strength to you in your work, Anthony. And let us all say: So mote it be!
  • Anthony Gresham
    Anthony Gresham says #
    From Jan. 24, 2020 until March 2, 2020 I did a 40 day prayer ritual asking that my fellow citizens embrace their civil rights and

Posted by on in Culture Blogs
Trump-Ugly

 This is the premier of Canada.

Cute.

 

b2ap3_thumbnail_Macron.jpg

 This is the president of France.

Cute.

 

b2ap3_thumbnail_Trump-Ugly.jpg

 This is the president of the United States.

Ugly.

And not just ugly: Trump-ugly.

(Rhymes with butt-ugly.)

Last modified on

Additional information