Solitary

Alone

Alone within yourself

This is probably one of the most difficult places to be comfortably. Most people cannot understand why I want to be in my own head and my own thoughts. Yet I find this is one of the best (and sometimes worst) places for me to be. It doesn’t matter whether I’m using my imagination to write a story or thinking through a problem or exploring my inner landscape.

I enjoy being alone. I just finished reading Quiet by Susan Cain. I loved this book. She talks about the power of being introverted. She talks about how our society is all about the extroverts and the difficulty (and sometimes harm) this can cause to the introverts. The book affirmed for me things I've known all my life. There is a quiet power in being within my own head and my own space. People are drawn to this quiet power.

When it comes to my spiritual beliefs, I find the best results I get are when I’m alone. I consider myself an eclectic witch who is seeking. I focus on what works for me and not about meshing my energy with those around me.

I began this journey going to groups and meeting up with people. I met some amazing women who I continue friendships with. I learned a great deal from these encounters. I also figured out that I like working alone – just like I enjoy being alone.

There are a lot of reasons to work alone at least for me. Mobility, convenience, and results are probably the top three.

I have difficulty getting around so it's easiest for me to stay in my own home to do ritual. I can’t do stairs and rough ground is hazardous to my legs. I’ve been known to trip over air so I take precautions on rough ground. It's awkward to ask a host or hostess “how many stairs are in your house?” or “Is your bathroom on the same floor as the ritual area?”

Because I'm unsteady on my feet, I don’t like to carry a lot of things. If I can’t see where I’m walking I’ll trip. I freely admit I’m a klutz. This means it's easier for me to be in my own home where I can ask my husband to help me gather tools for gatherings.

Lastly but probably most importantly, I get the best results when I’m on my own. The meditations I’ve had on my own take me deeper into myself and lead to revelations I’ve rarely gotten in a group. Group energy is interesting, especially in the right group with amazing people, but the energy I feel on my own is stronger and more peaceful. It energizes me and relaxes me all in one session.

Is this because I do things my own way? Is it because I’m most comfortable and open in a place I’m most comfortable? Probably a bit of both. I just know when I do rituals, magic, or meditation by myself, I feel safe, powerful, and alive.