Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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Image result for lightning striking capitol


How do you say “damn” in Pagan?

It's always best to swear by one's own gods, which can leave pagans at a decided disadvantage when it comes to the Profanity Olympics.

Unlike some, pagans don't believe in eternal damnation, and pagan gods don't damn. So what's a poor pagan to say instead?

For my money, I'll take “blast.”

Though not immediately obvious as such, “blast” is actually a prayer, the invocation of a very specific pagan deity.

“Blast it!” you cry. You're calling on Thunder, bidding him destroy something (or someone) by lightning-strike. Not eternal damnation, perhaps, but still pretty nasty.

As a pagan curse word, “blast” (or its derivative adjectival form, “blasted”) has a lot of advantages.

  • It's pan-pagan: just about everyone honors the Thunderer.
  • While not exactly common in English swearing, it's not sufficiently uncommon to call undue attention to itself.
  • You've really got to admire the concision of a one-word prayer.

In sum, “blast” fits nicely with the way that pagans see the world. Wishing sudden destruction by violent divine intervention on someone (or something) is bad, but with us, it's as far as things go.

For pagans, death pays all debts.



Thunder blast the cowards of the 117th Congress,

oathbreakers, rightists who hate what is right, who,

loving only power, perverted justice by voting to acquit

a man that they knew to be guilty.

May their infamy outlive them.




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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.


  • Katie
    Katie Sunday, 14 February 2021

    So more it be!

  • Jamie
    Jamie Monday, 15 February 2021

    Mr. Posch,

    Little Stewie from "Family Guy" wasn't wrong. "Blast!" is a great curse word.

    The HBO TV series, "Rome" also had some fantastic (and hilarious) Pagan-themed profanity. "By Pluto's thorny c*ck!" made me laugh when I heard Lucius Vorenus or Titus Pullo say it.

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