AP: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Think back to the last time that you broke a glass on the kitchen floor. Did it seem to you at the time that you swept up more glass than could possibly have been in the glass before you broke it?
Well, it turns out that you were right.
According to Dr. Martin Summerton, Professor of Applied Theurgics at the University of Paganistan's prestigious Department of Thaumatology, carefully-controlled experiments demonstrate that breaking a glass actually does increase its weight.
“If you weigh a glass, break it, and re-weigh every shard from the broken glass, the overall weight of glass increases by approximately 12.3%,” reports Summerton. “Apparently the old folk wisdom is correct.”
Parallel research at Arkham University and the Summerisle Polytechnic Institute duplicates Summerton's findings. Researchers are still uncertain what causes the increase.
“At present, we can't explain the phenomenon,” says Summerton. “The implication is that what we call the Laws of Thermodynamics are rather like the Pirate's Code: they're really more along the lines of suggestions.”