Hurray, hurray, the First of May:
outdoor f**king begins today.
Imagine: you live, in what is essentially a one-room house, along with your spouse, your kids, your parents, grandma, and an unmarried sibling or two.
Maybe even the cow.
All winter long you've been stuck in there with them all.
The whole smokey, stinky, crowded winter, with nary a moment of privacy.
Finally, after all those months, it's—almost—warm enough to slip off to the woods for some long-awaited quality time and a little surreptitious love-making.
I ask you: who wouldn't want to go out Maying?
I remember one Beltane camp-out up in the North Woods—that was the one where we danced the Maypole in the snow—when a friend jumped up on a picnic table and announced that this year, due to unforeseen meteorological circumstances, the official start of Outdoor F**king Season would be delayed by two weeks.
Not that that stopped us, of course.