If you don't yet know Christopher Raible's no-holds-barred parody of the Christmas classic, from his 1964 Songs for the Cessation of Strife, you probably should.
God(s) Rest Ye, Unitarians
God(s) rest ye, Unitarians:
let nothing you dismay.
Remember, there's no evidence
there was a Christmas Day.
When Christ was born
is just not known,
no matter what they say.
Oh tidings of reason and fact,
reason and fact,
glad tidings of reason and fact.
There was no Star of Bethlehem,
there was no angel song;
there couldn't have been wise men,
for the trip would take too long.
The stories in the Bible
are historically wrong.
Chorus
Our current Christmas customs
come from Persia and from Greece,
from Solstice celebrations
of the ancient Middle East.
This whole damned Christmas shpiel
is just another pagan feast!
Chorus
Some years back, while teaching a Songs for the Winter Solstice workshop at one of the local witch stores, I had the pleasure of meeting Christopher Raible's granddaughter. Her grandfather had passed away a few years before, but she assured me that he would have been absolutely delighted to know that the pagans were singing his song.
So no, we haven't culturally appropriated from the Unitarians (now there's a verbal abomination for you); we have permission.
Of course, the song's anthropology is a little dated. Our current Christmas customs do not, in fact, come from Persia, Greece, or the ancient Middle East. Mostly (to speak for the US, anyhow) they derive from Germany and the British Isles.
Well, there's a stickler for historical accuracy in every pagan circle. When used judiciously, this kind of intellectual integrity must be regarded as a strength; at the very least, it keeps us honest.
So, with the very kind permission of Rudd Rayfield, who wrote it, I hereby offer a breath-of-fresh-air update for Raible's third verse, which to my mind actually improves on the original:
Our current Christmas customs
come from Germans and from Norse,
from Solstice celebrations
when the Sun has run its course.
This whole damned Christmas shpiel
is quite the pagan tour de force!
Just like they sing it in Paganistan.
With thanks and a tip of the black, pointy hat, to Rudd Rayfield