Into every life a little rain must fall, but I’d really rather not have it fall on the inside of my house.
After months of abnormally dry weather, the Pacific Northwest finally got some much needed rain to soothe our parched soil and lay the terrible wildfires to rest. While I am tremendously glad the rains have finally returned and the weather has cooled off, I am less happy that my house has decided it no longer remembers that water should stay on the outside of it. Oh yes, the other day I came home to an unwelcome drip on the inside of my office window. For some people this type of situation is an excuses to get out the old home improvement tools and get to work. I am not that type of a person; sadly, neither is my husband. We are not “handy.” We can configure a router or draft a contract, but sadly we are totally lost when it comes to home repair.
In my perfect world some kindly elves or a wandering contractor would hear my distress and immediately materialize out of the ether to fix my house free of charge. Sadly, that’s just not the way things work. It’s going to be a little while before we can get someone out here to look at the leak. *sigh* In the meantime I figured I’d give my house a little extra energetic love with a fortification spell and, being me, I gave it a pop culture twist.
Pop Culture House Fortification Spell
Light a gold or green candle and say the following:
I work this night to protect and fortify my house.
I call upon the might and fortitude
one hundred television carpenters and contractors.
I call upon the energy and enthusiasm of home improvement networks:
Home and Garden and DIY channels.
I call upon the expertise and expert execution of
Bob Villa and Norm Abrams.
Be with me this night.
Let your energy flow through my house
stopping leaks, arresting decay, holding things together.
Let my house hold fast until I can get your physical brethren
to come and conduct repairs.
My house will weather the storm.
The wind will huff and will puff
but won’t blow my house down.
My house will see the rains come and go undamaged.
This old house will stand tall and proud.
So be it.