PaganSquare
PaganSquare is a community blog space where Pagans can discuss topics relevant to the life and spiritual practice of all Pagans.

Nowadays, weddings are a big business and can be huge productions that take no less than a year of planning. Weddings are one of our most beloved rituals, and while they often cost a pretty penny, they are usually deeply meaningful for every person in attendance. My friend, the esteemed author Daphne Rose Kingma, wrote a lovely collection of ceremonies called Weddings from the Heart that run the gamut from traditional to highly alternative. This book is a great resource for engaged couples celebrating the journey of love.
I have had the good fortune to officiate at two weddings and have created a variation of the classic handfasting which I will share with you here. These are two very happy couples, so it seems that this particular variation of this ritual is effective.

The important thing to remember in the engagement process is to make sure you share similar ideas about the path of life. Being engaged is a time to make sure you are compatible on many levels as you enjoy the romance. You will need to have frank discussions on career, home, health, children, sex, and the expectations you have for yourself and your partner in all these areas. Sometimes when we are in love, we expect people to simply “know” what we want. Magical people expect that even more, feeling that their partner is so intuitive that they should be able to anticipate each other’s actions and opinions on these aspects of life. Though it would be ideal, that’s not realistic thinking. Sometimes it can be hardest to read the person we are closest to. A good relationship requires good communication. This formalized engagement ritual involves dream sharing and should only be done after such frank discussions so that nothing comes as a shock. Performing this ritual is a good way to initiate such talks. It can be done right after the acceptance or at any point later in the engagement process. Just make sure you are both aware of each other’s ideas of the future before you begin your life together.
When you are ready to move forward and begin the ritual, first go someplace comfortable where you will not be disturbed. This ritual can be done in your home or even at a quiet restaurant or coffee shop. Perhaps you’ll want to take your love to the place where you first dated.

Using ritual to create sacred space in your life puts you between the worlds. You are on the threshold where all things are possible. The magic circle is a boundary, separating the sacred and the magical from the mundane. Out of all the rituals marking the passage of life, engagement is unique in that it is a threshold between stages in life. You are no longer single, but you are not quite married, either. As courtship turns into engagement, the relationship has deepened, yet the foundation is not quite solid. You are still in the process of building, exploring, and discovering. Engagement is the marker, the boundary, separating your old life from the new path you will walk with your betrothed.
Rituals of engagement are quite common. Most married people who would never see themselves as any sort of ritualists have performed engagement rituals. Asking for someone’s hand in marriage, accepting the offer, and trading rings are rituals that involve special words and ritualized actions, such as getting down on one knee, that carry life-changing significance.

Have you ever attended an art opening or book reading and hit it off with the person seated beside you? You meant to exchange business cards, but one thing led to another and now you have no way of getting in touch. It’s time for some magical intervention. Try this spell and you will soon be bumping into each other at your neighborhood coffee shop.
At your local metaphysical shop, buy two body-shaped candles. (One should be shaped like your own body; the other should be a woman’s figure if you want to reach out to a woman, or a man’s figure to communicate with a man.) When you have the appropriate candles, set them on your altar. If you can’t find any with the desired shapes, use two pink candles instead.

The god Mercury prevails over communication, speed, mental clarity, and fun. Traditionally, he also escorts the dead to the afterlife. All things yellow and citrus can bring forth Mercury’s bright presence, which will help you in all your interactions with friends or potential friends. Try these surefire ways to make contact.
On a Wednesday, burn three yellow candles. Anoint yourself and the candles with lemon and neroli oil. Meditate on the flame and breathe deeply, filling your lungs with the fiery citrus scent. Holding both hands out, palms up, say: