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Introduced in Congress on February 18, 2021, H. R. 5, the Equality Act, offers the most far-reaching legal protections for sexual and gender minorities so far seen in the United States. Predictably enough, religious conservatives are whining about how it violates their “God”-given right to discriminate.

Sounds to me like time for a little well-earned satire.

April 10, 1864

Senator:

I was appalled sir, absolutely appalled, to hear of your support for the 13^th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, abolishing slavery in the United States.

I would like to remind you, sir, that the Bible—both Old and New Testaments, sir—not only universally accepts the institution of slavery, but in fact presupposes it. Slavery, sir, is part of God's plan for the world.

Thus, sir, I have a God-given right to own another human being.

Your so-called amendment violates my religious freedom.

I was seven. We'd never moved before.

Finally my mom kicked me out of the house. “Go and make some new friends,” she said.

I wandered aimlessly through the backyards until I came to a little knot of kids, playing Tarzan. The oldest girl, Debbie S., was Tarzan.

I felt a thrill of homecoming.

We played Tarzan all that afternoon: climbing trees, ape-dancing, chanting the war-chant of the Jujus (NA-na-na-na-na NA-na-na-na-na NA-na NA-na NA-na-na-na-na). I was Jane.

A year later, Debbie and her family moved away. I never saw her again.

Still, I have no doubt whatsoever that some day out there I'll run a dyke named Debbie S.

When we do, I know exactly what I'll say.

Z Budapest once stirred up strong feelings, ending in a demonstration, by holding a biological-women-only ritual at Pantheacon.  The previous year another group had also excluded trans-women from an all women ritual.  Some people decided it was time to challenge the legitimacy of such practices. It was quite the kerfluffel for a while. I was one of Z’s defenders. 

I sometimes wonder if heterosexual predominance may not be largely a matter of semantics.

When it comes to pronouns, it's way harder to talk about same-sex relations.

Then he climbed up on his shoulders, and he....

Which he is he?

If, back when, I'd had the shaping of English myself, there would today be multiple male (and female) pronouns, the better with which to avoid such ambiguity.

One wonders: just how would that work?

Gee: Witchcraft. Medieval England. Lots of gay sex.

Sounds like the perfect novel.

I thought that the title was Nightshade, but if so, repeated web-searches have yet to turn up any sign of it.

Setting: medieval England. Our hero: hot, sexy, dark. (Is he really a wrongfully-dispossessed nobleman's son—à la Robin Hood—or am I just making that up?) Gay as a goose, of course. Travels all over Ye Merry Olde, having lots of adventures—hem, hem—with lots of cute, willing guys.

Oh, but the true love of his life—the one he keeps coming back to—is the eponymous Nightshade, the beautiful boy back home, apprentice to the village witch.

Plot? I'm sure there was one. No doubt the old witch dies and our hero (I don't even remember his name: probably something terse and monosyllabic like Dirk) eventually manages to save young Nightshade from the evil witch-hunters.

Title: Myths, Moons, and Mayhem: Paranormal Gay Menage and Erotic Romance

“Die now!” chanted the crowd as Diagóras of Rhodes circled the stadium. They meant it as a compliment.

Olympia, 448 BCE. Two of Diagóras' sons had just received Olympic crowns. "Die now!" chanted the crowd as his sons raised him to their shoulders and bore him aloft.

Meaning: you might as well die now; you're never going to get any happier than this.

In my long and rich life, I've been fortunate enough to have several “Die now!” moments.

Here's one.