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Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in human sexuality

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

 

A Tale of Sexual Awakening

 

“I'm soooo horny! I wish you were a girl!”

Two adolescent boys, sleeping in the back of the family station wagon. In retrospect, I realize that that night could potentially have been my first shared sexual experience.

Thank Goddess, it wasn't.

 

Looking back, I can see that that night in the car wasn't the first time that my cousin had orchestrated the two of us into a potentially sexual situation. Though a year younger than I, he was by far the more sexually precocious of the two.

He was also—even at the time, I knew it—self-centered and immature. He would have been a terrible partner to discover sex with.

Sheltered, trained by my parents to obedient compliance, I would almost certainly have been the loser for the experience.

 

Instead, my ignorance, and naivete, saved me—at the time, I had no idea that sex between males was even possible—and I didn't respond to my cousin's clumsy overture, if that, indeed, is what it was.

When, years later, my first dorm-room fumblings with another guy finally flowered into sex, transmuted by the alchemy of first love, they came as magical, a revelation.

Last modified on

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

 

A Thoroughly Unedifying Tale

 

He was a man who loved women, though he often treated them badly: handsome enough but, deep down, really something of a creep.

(Just how much of a creep he really was, we didn't fully understand until years afterward. Beauty without morals is a dangerous combination.)

Personally, I would have described our relationship as glancing at best, but whenever he saw me, he would immediately rush over and talk at me animatedly and at length, with an emotional intensity that belied the (as I saw it) superficiality of our acquaintanceship.

Finally I figured it out.

As it turns out—how could I have forgotten?—the two of us had had what at the time I thought was casual sex after a ritual one night: so casual, in fact, that it slipped my mind for decades.

(Hey, it was the 80s; people did that sort of thing back then, and not just in pagan circles, either.)

Apparently, that's not how he saw it, though. I gather now that I was his “everybody-tries-it-once” guy, to whom he had granted intimacies never-before and never-since bestowed on anyone else. Because of this, in his eyes, the two of us shared a deep, lasting bond with one another.

Gods: I'd had his virginity, and didn't even notice. Maybe that makes me the creep.

So much for facile moralizing.

Last modified on

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

 Buyer's Guide for Walk-In Cooler & Freezer

Contains sexual content

 

I'm given to understand that things are different these days, but back when I was working restaurants you could always pretty much tell where you were in the house by the ambient sexual preference. The gay guys worked the floor, the straight guys the line.

Not that you would have guessed as much from the banter that you'd hear in the kitchen. In every restaurant that I ever worked, the cooks were constantly on about who was going to suck whose dick, or boff whose butt.

(According to my friend David, this is because the human male is instinctively and intrinsically homosexual. [All heterosexuality, apparently, is acquired behavior.] My own take on it is that such verbal micro-aggressions help relieve the tension of working in a stressful environment with too little personal space. You can make up your own mind.)

One day, for a reason I can no longer remember, I went to the walk-in cooler to get something.

Now, you have to understand that in a restaurant kitchen—for reasons that you can readily divine—all doors open in. Unfortunately, it so happened that at that very moment the head chef was standing immediately inside taking inventory, so that I clobbered him with the door as I opened it.

Apologies immediately sprang to my lips, but when Chef saw who it was, he beat me to it.

“Hey, hey, you're banging me in the butt,” he deadpanned.

Thank Goddess for presence of mind.

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