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I am intrigued with living and conceptualizing the emerging paradigm of the Sacred Feminine. May you experience this blog as a Circle where you can breathe in to who you are. May you find new dimensions to yourself.

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Stepping into your Priestess Self

This is maybe the scariest topic for me- yet somehow I feel ready and eager to move into it. Maybe it's because the nightingales were singing so daringly this morning, or it's the storm raging outside. 

I- am- going- to- intiate- a- woman- into- her- priestess- self. 

My mind boggles. Voices going on inside of me: 'now, nobody's ever going to take you serious. Done for and good riddance with you from now on'. Ouch, that hurts.

The interesting thing is, I have been involved in initiating priestesses for years, it's my calling and my profession. So what's different this time? Why can I hardly breathe now?

Somehow I managed to say to these voices all these years: 'well, you know, I do it differently. I prepare these women, I guide them on the path towards initiation, I offer them all this knowledge, support, space, guidance. we do all this psychological work. But initiation, that is between you and the Goddess. I will bring you in nature and hold the space, and from there it's up to you and Her'.

Of course, this is a very very beautiful form, and it taps right back into ancient shamanic and priestess settings. Put them on a raft and push it from the shore, bury them alive for 24 hours, keep them in a cave and guard the entrance... It's profound, it's awesome, it's everything.

Yet, there's another dimension to it. In choosing to work with these forms, I did not have to confront my own patterns that were telling me I was worthless. I did not have to confront these voices that say that transmitting energy is nonsense, and only inner work counts.

Now, today, the confrontation is finally happening. It's intense!

A whole new idea comes up now: what if it IS true? What if there is a band of energy frequencies related to the Sacred Feminine, and after having been in thousands of ceremonies with Her, sometimes guiding thousands of people, I do carry the capacity to raise others to this level? What is this is not in contradiction with a sound grounded life? 

A deep sigh comes here... What a relief... For of course, it IS true.. I suddenly see how I had to twist myself in ever tighter knots as my energy was rising, to NOT awaken people through my presence...or at least, to be able to keep up that myth for myself, for of course it was happening all along.

Like the friend who stayed in my guest room and the next morning said she had felt her kundalini energy like never before. Or the friend whom I touched for a healing, and who has sworn ever since that I initiated her into something without checking in with her first. I was dumbfounded, I had done nothing I assured her... But she refused to believe it.

As I write this, more pieces of the puzzle are falling together. I see how this experience had left a deeper mark on me than I realized. That's why I am so scared to allow my energy to move freely... and that;s how I keep myself fixed! or rather, that's how I kept myself fixed. 

But not anymore! Thank you nightingales, thank you storm, or maybe thank you, Goddess... I'm here. Stepping into a New Layer of My Priestess Self today, and loving it!




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I offer Sacred Space Online Events and a Priestess Training in Avalon, Egypt, Crete and Netherlands. This is just the beginning of my bio, and I know it’s already so much. I published a book in Netherlands: Living In Bliss, The Path of Initiation in Ancient Goddess Cultures (in Dutch). What intrigues me now is leaving behind old structures and being ever more true to the moment. I live next to the sea with my dog and cat, and love travel and dancing. Read more about me on


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