Today is a hard day. I'm glad it's raining. My middle child, my sweet shy,, cautious daughter is at her last day in high school. It is the ending of a phase in her life and the beautiful beginning of another.
This one is especially hard. I don't know why it is, it shouldn't, I have one more child to get through high school before we are "empty nesters". But this is my sweet Marie. My highly intuitive, empathetic one. She feels everything around her.
I cried most of the morning, especially when family shared pictures of her when she was very young. I had promised myself not to pull out the old pictures and dwell on her.
She was accepted into two different colleges, one is a little over an hour away and the other is nine hours away. Either one will be good for her, but not necessarily for me. That's when I had to sit and meditate. I need to take myself out of the equation and let the energy of the universe guide her to where she needs to be for her, not me. That's the hard part of being a mom, i know. It's just being able to sit and remind yourself that you have raised a fine young adult who knows how to move through their life doing what is best for them.
So I looked at the pictures again and was reminded again, of how different she is now. Back when she was so tiny and the energy of everything around her scared her and she would literally hide under me, of all the times the preschool teacher would call and ask me to come get her as she was in a ball in a corner or under a desk, just too much energy for her to deal with. Thankfully, the preschool teacher was a good friend and understood that she was an empath, and thankfully, I understood too as I was one too.
That's one of the many reasons why we moved from a big bustling city to this small, quiet town. I needed her to focus and learn to trust her instincts.
Now, looking at her younger self and remembering how she was, and looking at her senior pictures and knowing how secure, confident, and determined she is has cleared my tears (although it is still raining).
I am so thankful that I followed my gut and believed in her abilities and helped her to understand them, something that I had not much help in growing up. I only had a bit of time with my father and grandmother and what they were able to help me learn through cryptic teachings.
And as I write this, my heart is fealing lighter and the sun is begining to break through the clouds.
Many Blessings ~