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Last night of my being alone, in a hotel room, away from my family for training.  Tomorrow I will go to work and then leave for home sweet blissful home!

But for now, I'm sitting in front of my laptop, watching Fantastic Beasts <3, drinking some water and enjoying a chocolate bar while dipping it in some almond butter all the while writing to you fine people.

Long time, no write. Although I do have three drafts started on the Word app on my tablet, my son had commandeered my tablet after his high school graduation and I had only been lucky enough to touch it two brief times since then.  

Now that I'm on a training trip away from my family, I find that I have pockets of free time.  And, bonus, I have my laptop back!  Had to use it when I worked from home for a large retail company.  But now that I'm in training for another work-at-home job (much better than the previous one), I get to have it back.  At some point I will grab my tablet and transfer the drafted blogs and post them.  So I was getting ready to leave my training day thinking that all I wanted to do was sit and decompress and write when I received a lovely "missing you" email, gently reminding me that I have a warm place to write - exactly what was on my brain.  Someone was reading my thoughts.

It's the little shadows that linger out of view, the waking me up at 3am, the subtle touches in the middle of the night to let me know that you are there, but invisible.

I know you are contacting me to let me know you are there.  I know you are bringing me information about someone that I do not want to hear.  But you don't tell me.  I see you as you wear a hat, sometimes you even look like Odin and I hear the call of his ravens, sometimes like Jesus, sometimes just a white feathery being, and sometimes as a small dark spot or shadow lurking outside of my field of vision.  But you are always the same.  I don't understand why you take all these shapes, but I know it's you down deep within.

I was talking to my daughter about the big eyed girl I saw before falling asleep the other night.

She got all excited and said that she had a dream about her about a year ago.  We described the same girl to each other.  I told her how I used my safe color and my personal space circle to help "push" her out until I'm ready to talk to her.  

Ugh, my on again, off again life.  

We moved here to slow life down.  It has been quite the adventure!  Since 2009, I have had 7 jobs.  That is more than Ihave ever thought I would have in my lifetime!  My husband has had 2 since being here.  I've started many projects and finished only a handful.

Sometimes you don't realize the power that energy carries.  I have been teaching my girls about energy, you know, how everything around us has a type of energy attached to it.  It's almost funny watching them as they discover this and the thought process clicks and they realize that there are reasons why they feel the way they do about things around them.

We talk about residual energy and how every person and thing that comes into our house leaves an energetic imprint of some sort.  As well, our emotions leave imprints of energy.  I explained that this is why we need to cleanse the house of energy as well when we vacuum, dust, and clean the house in the normal way that most people think about cleaning houses.  Intention plays a large part in this cleaning.  Most people who do not do energy work can still clear the energy out of their house through simple cleaning, as it is their intention to clean and make their space feel clean, feel fresher, feel better.  They seem to watch, pay attention as things change around them and us.  They are mindful of the people we meet and who come to visit.

It has been a while since I have had a chance to sit down and write.  Too long in fact.  I have left yet another job and started another, more learning of things that in some ways just do not make sense.  Another job where I am the oldest and am teased about my "ways" of doing things.  Just today I was teased about how I always look at the good side of things.  Well, I'm a Reiki Master/Teacher, there's a reason why I am this way.  But I have had time to reflect.  I find that I am still trying to find the job that I am comfortable in, one that I feel comfortable in my own skin.  On June 30 I turned another year older (49), way too old and starting to sense the Wise Woman in me.  

One new aspect is that my middle daughter, Marie, has opened up to let me know that she is seeing and sensing spirits as well as energy from people around her.  My husband has recently asked me to cleanse our house (teenagers create and attract a lot of various types of energies).  Marie is going to learn this process.  I am going to take her under my wings and teach her.  This gives me two benefits.  First I know what she is learning and I can guide her towards more material.  She is curious and I want to encourage this curiosity.  Secondly, this gives me a chance to dust off my course books and various other books and binders and relearn some aspects of healing modalities that I have neglected.  I have a student!  But I need to remember that I live with this student and to not overwhelm her with information all the time.