I awoke this morning to the smell of crisp fall air coming in my window.  It rained a little last night and I can smell that, too.  Today we gather for the first of several Samhain rituals this year as my circle is spending this season visiting other communities to learn more about how others experience the holidays.  It feels a little early for Samhain, but honestly, this holiday always comes rushing forth.  I never feel quite prepared.  This is my favorite time of year and there are always more fun things I'd like to do before the year ends.

One of my favorite parts of being a pagan is the way our holidays provide rhythm and movement to my life.  No matter what I'm doing with my work or my relationships, those six weeks always pass by the same and suddenly, another holiday is upon us.  Despite more than two decades living like this, I have to admit that they sneak up on me more often than I'd like.  Even as I build my livelihood out of my spiritual life, it is still so easy to get caught up in the mundane things going on that I don't notice the signs of season's change all around me. 

Our holidays provide a map for ritualized mindfulness, assigned by the movements of the planet we share.  We gather on or around these days every year and cast our circles.  For a brief period of time we exist in "a space outside of space and a time outside of time".  We set aside our planners and google calendars, to-do lists and honey-do lists, our weighty responsibilities and the demands of our lives.  We set it all down and focus our attention on the movements of the planet, the seasons, and our place in the world as makers of meaning and magick.  We remember who we are and how we can live.  We become filled again.

Sometimes I wish the circle could gather for ritual more often.  Six weeks seems like so long to wait for another moment of alignment.  We try to gather for full moons or new moons, regular class sessions or guided meditations, but nothing every sticks for long.  We live busy lives in different towns and it takes commitment and sacrifice to come together.  Sometimes I envy the Christians for their regular weekly fellowship.  But, when our holidays come around and I am again brought to that present moment, I realize that the timing is rather perfect. 

The rhythms we live with as witches provide structure for our memories.  I don't think of my life in terms of years at a job or time spent in different cities.  More often than not, my memories of time are located around pagan rituals.  Last year's Samhain is marked in my mind and I know who was with us and where we were.  Yule two years ago was a quiet affair, just my dear friend and myself in a cabin up north.  Beltane last year was a riot, with Christians and Pagans together celebrating debauchery and abandon at a drag show in Berkeley.  My holidays mark not only nature's seasons, but the seasons of my life.  The years may flow together a bit, but it's our holidays that help me to remember the moments.  For me, this is what a witch's life looks like.