If you don’t personally know me, then this post is going to seem a little odd, mostly because if you read this blog you may have been under the impression that I’ve always loved gardening, and the myriad other tasks related to homesteading, even at the level we’re doing it, but you’d be wrong. Despite my acknowledging that I view at least some of these tasks as activity of veneration for my gods, I view all of them as chores, necessary activities that come with the lifestyle we’ve chosen here. We all have tasks like that, whether it’s as mundane as taking our the trash or not so mundane as driving your chosen livestock to the slaughter-house and taking delivery of a bunch of processed meat products. We also all have priorities for all the things that can take up time in our day like our jobs, families, friends, television, and yes, those chores.
One of the activities that is rather high on my priority list is using my computer to maintain websites, write blogs, and design new graphics and embroideries to sell, and read the news. I've always equated "working" with sitting in front of my computer. My computer has been a close friend of mine for decades, ever since I first sat down in front of the blinking cursor of the family Commodore 64 all those years ago. I've not ever been without a computer since then, and since about 1991, I’ve never been without access to some form of “internet” or “email”, even if they were FIDO and bulletin boards at the start. I’ve seen the potential benefits of being able to earn a living with my computer almost from the start, it’s a very powerful tool. Today, however, I was faced with a brand new experience, one that I did not ever foresee being part of who I am. Today, I wanted to be outside, doing all the labor, sweating, lifting, moving. and all the rest of it. instead of being in front of the computer writing, designing or anything else. So I went outside.
I’ve mentioned before that much of the outdoor stuff for this time of year can be repetitive, mindless tasks, which allows the mind to wander and meditate on other things, without the conscious mind getting in the way. I find it is actually my most productive method of clearing my mind and working out solutions, in more ways that one. Today, I guess my mind was frustrated over already hitting a wall in my quest to beat the NaNoWriMo 2012 challenge, but something deeper surfaced for my brain to chew on while I was out there plotting new garden spaces, cutting tall grasses, moving bricks and lumbers, etc.:
Was my purpose what I thought, how do I verify that, and am I living my purpose or just talking about my purpose?
I guess when my brain recognizes Samhain as a time for introspection and “big picture” thinking, it really goes all out! I thought I knew my purpose, I honestly thought I had that figured out. I was here to experience the wonders of nature by living within its cycles at a level most don’t bother to even consider anymore, and then share what I’m learning to perhaps inspire others to deepen their connection with nature and (re)discover something within that for themselves. I still believe that is at least part of my purpose. I also believe that many of the issues which divide us as can be put into their proper perspective if we understand that our place is as a whole, on a single planet, which we’re slowly destroying (or not so slowly, anymore!).
So once you’ve figured out your purpose, I now realize it’s important to verify that along the way, to make sure that is still your purpose, and to make sure you’re still on course. I also now realize that the way you verify your purpose is if while actually living it, as best you can, in every way you know how, your mind is unfettered by it. If you have doubts about your purpose, trying to recognize those doubts as a call for verification of whether you’re talking it or living it. I’ve been somewhat living it, but I’ve also just been talking other parts of it, so it’s time to refocus, and live my purpose. That may mean less blog posts, it may mean a quiet Facebook page, but what it really means is that I’m living it, not just blogging it.
The posts will be more informative because there will be more things to talk about, and better things too. Isn’t that a good thing, and aren’t good things worth waiting for? How about you? Are you living your purpose? Do you even know what it is?