Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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Song: The Gnostic Mass (to the Tune of: The Monster Mash)

Breathes there a Thelemite without a sense of humor?

Let no one accuse me here of disrespect; actually, as rituals go, I'm rather fond of old Uncle Al's Missa Gnostica. As for this little jeu d'esprit, it's all in good fun, my little pretty.

 All in good fun.

 

The Gnostic Mass

(Tune: The Monster Mash)

 

I was seein’ a museum late one night

when my eyes beheld an eerie sight:

a fella from a stele began to rise,

and suddenly, to my surprise

 

He said the Mass

(he said the Gnostic Mass)

the Gnostic Mass

(It really kicked my ass)

he said the Mass

(he said the Gnostic Mass)

the Gnostic Mass

 

 

Then mummies and ghouls from Egypt’s wide sands,

and brummies and cools from many other lands

filled the gallery then and, stroking their rods,

incanted: “Be this bread the body of god!”

 

′Cause it’s the Mass

(cause it’s the Gnostic Mass)

the Gnostic Mass

(No kissin’ caprine ass)

cause it’s the Mass

(cause it’s the Gnostic Mass)

the Gnostic Mass

 

From the ether did Eliphas Levi’s voice ring:

it seems he was troubled by just one thing.

He parted the veil, shook his astral fist,

and shouted: “Vhatever happened to my Satanistic kitsch?”

 

It’s now the Mass

(it’s now the Gnostic Mass)

the Gnostic Mass

(and it’s a New Age smash)

it’s now the Mass

(it’s now the Gnostic Mass)

the Gnostic Mass

 

Hri-lu, Gnostic Mass

Hri-lu, Gnostic Mass

Hri-lu, Gnostic Mass

Hri-lu, Gnostic Mass

Hri-lu…

 

(fade out)

 

For Leaping Laughter Oasis,

doers.

 

 

 

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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.
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