I didn't work for almost a year after I got back from the UK, so money was tight. When Yule rolled around, I had to get creative.

(In retrospect, I have to say that that was one of the happiest years of my life, though I lived pretty much exclusively on beans and rice, and vegetables from the garden.)

Fortunately, my friend Robin—who has (among other things) the distinction of having been the very first Robin in a community of many Robins—was (and is) a big-time Terry Pratchett fan.

Now, those of you who know Pratchett's work will know that Hogswatch is the Discworld equivalent of...well, Yule. So on the Eve of Hogswatch, during the day while she was off at work, I recorded the first of my Hogswatch gifts that year on her phone machine.

Hogswatch is coming, the goose is getting fat...

The next day, I recorded the second.

We wish you a happy Hogswatch...

The next day, the third.

I'm dreaming of a white Hogswatch...

Every day for thirteen days she got another Hogswatch carol. Some, of course, were better than others.

Up on the rooftop, piggy trotters:

out jumps the jolly old Haw-awgfather...

(Personally, I think that this one counts as an improvement on the original. Reindeer don't have paws....)

On the thirteenth and last day of Hogswatch, of course, she got that old classic:

On the Last Day of Hogswatch, my true love gave to me...

Needless to say, I only sang the last verse.

Well, in this Year of the Magic Mushroom, let me be the first to wish a very Happy Hogswatch to you and yours.

Just don't eat too many beans, okay?

For "Granny" Ro Nicburn

Happy Hogswatch, lady!