Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth
In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.
An Open Letter to Religious Opponents of the Equality Act
Introduced in Congress on February 18, 2021, H. R. 5, the Equality Act, offers the most far-reaching legal protections for sexual and gender minorities so far seen in the United States. Predictably enough, religious conservatives are whining about how it violates their “God”-given right to discriminate.
Sounds to me like time for a little well-earned satire.
April 10, 1864
Senator:
I was appalled sir, absolutely appalled, to hear of your support for the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, abolishing slavery in the United States.
I would like to remind you, sir, that the Bible—both Old and New Testaments, sir—not only universally accepts the institution of slavery, but in fact presupposes it. Slavery, sir, is part of God's plan for the world.
Thus, sir, I have a God-given right to own another human being.
Your so-called amendment violates my religious freedom.
I hereby demand that you withdraw your support for this egregious legislation immediately.
Yours most sincerely,
Matthias McConnell
Note to the Reader:
It is certainly not my intent in this piece to compare the current situation of sexual and gender minorities in the US, bad as that can be, to the abomination that was human enslavement. What I'm satirizing here—and how many times have we seen it—is those who believe that their religion gives them license to do anything to anyone.
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Mr. Posch,
That may be satire, but I'll bet solid money that plenty of letters got sent by angry, pro-slavery, Christian white folks. Those letters were undoubtedly similar in content to your satirical one.