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It's not transphobic to...

...Disagree.

It's not transphobic to...

...Have your own definitions.

It's not transphobic to...

...Distinguish between biological and transgender.

It's not transphobic to...

...Have questions about the inclusion of transgender athletes.

It's not transphobic to...

...Disapprove of feeding hormones to children.

It's not transphobic to...

...Disapprove of irreversible gender-altering surgery for children.

It's not transphobic to...

...Say: “We don't have the science on that yet.”

It's not transphobic...

...Not to accept Current Leftist Orthodoxies just because they're the Current Leftist Orthodoxies.

It's not transphobic to...

...Find the phrase “Assigned male/female at birth” to be both misleading and dishonest.

This essay was prompted by a "TERF" (="Trans-Exclusive Radical Feminist") statement made in my local pagan community. TERFs usually reference biological determinism, defining being a woman as being fertile and giving birth, which excludes women like me, a "cis" (="not transgender") woman who has never been fertile, and is now in the crone stage of life. Sometimes their biological definitions reference having a womb, which would also exclude women like my mom, who had hers removed right after having me.

(I don't usually use the term "cis" because of its origins in academic papers meant as a substitute for "the normal population" or "the control group" and thus it is inherently binarist. Plus, as a binarist word, it has been used to exclude non-binary people, and has been used as a slur against non-binary people. It is the most appropriate word to use in this particular instance, however, using it strictly to mean "not trans.")

Recently I have listened and read and watched the Pagan community face transphobia. Again. Denora wrote a summary here and offered the challenge “How will you enact change?”

I wasn't around in previous years. I long to see our Pagan community become a healthy and welcoming place free from transphobia. I have no easy answers but I’ve been encouraged to tell the story of my personal struggle with transphobia. I used to a fundamentalist Christian and that meant also being misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, a creationist, and then some. So I offer here a glimpse of my own struggle and transformation.

I briefly lived in San Francisco, or “sin city” as we called it, with a Christian Outreach group over a decade ago. Someone in said group once warned me not to go to the “wrong side of the Safeway”, beyond which lay the Castro, the place where “the gays” lived their sinful lives. I once crossed over to eat at a Thai restaurant and felt frightened and guilt ridden the entire time.

The Pagan net has been abuzz after beloved and noted elder, Luisah Teish said some not so polite things about the trans-community on Tuesday. Some took offense, others defense, while those who took no side were in for quite the show. In the end it wrought in its wake a lot of old discussions and old wounds. Before I knew it I was left feeling like we (the community) dropped the ball and that we failed to protect our own.