I first began to utilize 'Priestessing' as a verb during my second week postpartum.
During that time I texted my childhood friend, Melanie, from the couch that I was unable to leave. Being stuck on the couch was a surprising situation for me to be in, for while I had planned on doing a 40 day sit in with my newborn Maiden, I hadn't planned on my carefully planned for home water birth becoming a C-section, nor for the recovery time that it would entail. Least of all was I planning on getting an infected cyst inside of my inner thigh just as I began to get the strength to be up and about for extended periods of time on my own.
I had envisioned the sit in being peaceful (which for the most part it was) and myself floating around on a cloud, wearing my baby, breastfeeding and napping, and, while I did nap and breastfed with her consistently I was definitely not floating nor was I wearing her. My stomach incision was too painful and at the moment that I was texting Melanie I was sitting on gauze pads sans pants or underwear oozing pus and blood onto the pad as my baby slept nestled in my arm. I was in shock from an operation that I wasn't expecting, new Motherhood hormones and that darn infected cyst. To top it all off, I was only 8 days into my 40 day sit~in I was starting to feel stir crazy.
When my daughter recently told me she no longer felt drawn to witchcraft, I'll admit, my heart broke a little. This was the girl who at three proclaimed herself a witch, and at five, added "Buddhist" to her identity as well. Now, at thirteen, after a rite of passage ceremony and the opportunity to finally join in with the pagan and shaman groups as a woman, with wise women ready to give advice and guidance, she wants no part in it.
At first, crushed, I forgot my own basic tenets. Though I believe everyone finds their own path toward enlightenment, and proselytization is abhorrent, I found myself nudging and needling my own daughter. It took a few days and some quiet reflection with my spirit guides to address why I was disappointed.
In a house with three kids and a busy husband, it’s hard to find peace. Just finding time to watch a movie without falling asleep is a challenge. I work a full-time job and my husband is self-employed full-time as well as he just started to work part time for a company which will at some point turn into a full-time job (and hopefully decrease the self-employment), makes it hard enough. But when his self-employment takes him six hours away for a week or two at time, all I can say is “ugh.” I don’t know if it’s easier now that the kids are out of school or if it were easier when they were in school.