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Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in loki

Posted by on in Culture Blogs
Fierce, Sweet, Wise

Mercury retrograde is a time for introspection and examination. This MR, I decided to take this to heart, and experiment with deepening my practice. I know that sounds hoity toity and whatnot, but in reality what it means to me is that I’m looking at how to deal with my PTSD and how it affects my practice. Symptoms come and go, but when it’s bad, I have avoidance symptoms, particularly emotional numbing. If you’re unfamiliar with the terms, avoidance symptoms are the mind’s way of avoiding the emotions involved in the trauma; emotional numbing is exactly what it sounds like; you feel distance, not happy, not sad, just…nothing. It’s not “meh” either, because it’s not indifferent, unless you’d count “well I haven’t engaged in self-mutilation, that’s good, right?” as meh. Mild depression might be a better descriptor.

I have bouts of this off and on, some more severe than others. December 2014 was bad; I had two major deaths in the family that year. My grandmother I expected, because her dementia had been worsening for several years. My father – he had PTSD himself, and he disappeared a year before he died, so there was no goodbye, there was just him, gone who knows where, a stranger on the phone telling me that they had my Daddy at the morgue. So vacillating between depression, mourning, and emotional numbing is how I spent my holidays. Not that it was all bad – Loki’s been very patient with me. For all that people talk about Him, chaos, blah blah, He is a God Who understands grief. I get the impression that sometimes people think if you’re involved with a Deity that your life will be perfect and you’ll never have any problems. No one’s life is problem-free, and being involved with a God does mean that I have better tools to deal with my issues than I’d have on my own. I’m grateful for that.

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Recent Comments - Show all comments
  • Catherine Miles
    Catherine Miles says #
    This is so perfect and spot on. Thank you so much for sharing it. You have given me hope, and I feel that he, Loki sort of drew m
  • SunRain MoonFire
    SunRain MoonFire says #
    Thank you!

Posted by on in Culture Blogs
the Pagan Experience: Voice
Although they are only breath, words which I command are immortal --Sappho

When I was a younger woman, I wanted to be a Writer; I wanted to be an Author, and I wanted to write literary fiction and poetry. In 2002, that changed dramatically, because my Muse sidled up to me and suggested a romance story. I'd never done that sort of thing before, and while I wasn't morally against it, I wasn't sure if I could do a good job of it. And it didn't particularly match my mental map of myself - I dabbled in romance reading, mostly well-written historical romances, but the genre blending of speculative romance was in its infancy then.

But I jumped in and found that I loved writing romance. There are people who think that writing to that genre is easy and formulaic; I think they should try it themselves and see how "easy" it is to write to the guidelines while making the characters and situations fresh, fun, and invigorating. There's also more than a little whiff of sexism about those who are dismissive of romance entirely; romance is a genre that concerns itself with women's desires and inner lives.

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The Pagan Experience: Personal Practice

After some prodding by Himself and some encouragement from friends, I'm taking a stab at the Pagan Experience Project. I'm not necessarily going to do every prompt all the time, but if the prompt elicits good thinky thoughts, I'll share them. I've decided to start with week two's prompt on personal practices.

Loki's not a terribly formal Deity, and and so many of my practices are not either; I share morning coffee with Him every day; I meditate once a day; ideally I do yoga, but that practice is a work in progress.

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  • Lizann Bassham
    Lizann Bassham says #
    I do love your writing
  • Heather Freysdottir
    Heather Freysdottir says #
    Thank you! I enjoy your work as well!
The Pagan Experience: Deity - Loki

(Image of Loki by Astral Eventide, commissioned by me in 2011)

The prompt for Week 3 of the Pagan Experience is to blog about Deity - Those Who guide you. Considering the fact that this blog is pretty much The Loki Show, it's probably redundant to introduce Him here; if you read my blog, you're familiar with His work.

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Posted by on in Culture Blogs
Love and Deity

Language shapes our perception of reality, and multiple words for a concept reflect the nuances of that concept. The typical example that most people have heard is that Inuit people have multiple words for snow, because their lives depend on it; its presence in different forms affects their lives in different ways. In English, we just have snow.

And this is not the only word that we only have one word for that another culture has multiple words to express, which brings me to love. English has one word for love, and while I love Loki, I love my child, and I love tacos, each one of those loves is a very different type of love. Ancient Greek had multiple variations on love; bhakti has different types:

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  • Linette
    Linette says #
    In my trad...or maybe in my UPG...love is cooperation. Period. Different styles of "love" exist because cooperation takes differe

Posted by on in Paths Blogs
Sympathy for the Devil

Sure, I love bad boys. They’re sexy, rebellious, often funny, deliciously scary.  But why I really love them? Because they’re honest. Because they know how to suffer. On those days when Facebook is filled with “humble brags” and Pollyanna affirmations, I find myself on the side of those who aren’t afraid to complain. 

 

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Posted by on in Culture Blogs
Another Girl's Paradise

I live in Paradise. Or at least, some people’s version of Paradise. I’m also a long-time Tori Amos fan, as I’m sure some of you gentle readers have already divined by the amount of her work on my blog. I love her for many reasons, among them that she’s unapologetic about her spirituality, her beauty, and her sexuality. And like me, she is also a rape survivor. In many ways, that in particular fascinates me because she seems less hindered by her assault than I am in terms of being willing or able to express desire. I had a lover ask me once what I wanted, and I was at a loss to express anything in particular, in no small part because asking for it seems Dangerous with a capital D.

And I’m not the only One aware of this problem – recently, Loki specifically asked me to tell Him what I wanted. Again, I don’t know. I’m always happy to try things, but I don’t ask or initiate, because I’ve been shamed into not wanting to express any sort of desire. Again, asking for it is, well, asking for it. Given the fact that I write romance, I’m sure that sound strange, but in essence, it’s Not Me enough to be Another Girl’s Paradise, and I can enjoy it, express myself.

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  • Erin Lale
    Erin Lale says #
    I so relate to this! I've never heard this song (I mostly listen to filk and old folk music) but I find myself nodding at all thes
  • Julie Landa
    Julie Landa says #
    I, too, am a huge Tori fan and have a difficult time asking for what I want. Thanks for the reminder that I can, and the inspiring

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