Sedna’s Daughters: Healing from Family Estrangement

Families in patriarchal cultures often mete out similar types of domination and oppression on their daughters that women experience in the larger world. For many daughters (and sons/trans/genderqueer folks), this includes scapegoating and rejection. Sedna’s Daughters provides a safe space for discussion on earth-based, spiritual approaches to healing from the confusing experience of family estrangement and recognizes all people's inherent belonging to Mother Earth, the human family, and the cosmos.

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Solar Eclipse Ponderings: Forgiving Our Mothers

Posted by on in SageWoman Blogs

b2ap3_thumbnail_95792621.jpgIn recognition and honor of the solar eclipse in Cancer tomorrow, the constellation of Home and Family in astrology, I offer this poem. Cancer is ruled by the Moon, the Mother, and I hope it opens something in readers to a place of contemplation about the role of forgiveness, of simultaneously holding the truths of our wounding as daughters (and sons) while also honoring the humanity of our mothers--with compassion, with deep love and compassion, minimizing nothing, accepting completely what was and is between us in one of the most powerful relationships we will ever have as a human.

May seeds of healing be planted in all daughters and mothers, and all people, with this powerful eclipse.

 

 

How Do Daughters Forgive Our Mothers?

 

How do we forgive our mothers?

ignore the shape of our face

in the mirror, the inflection of our voice?

harden our hearts, memorize her history

of crimes against us:

our invisibility, our existence a container

for her rage, her failings

and thus fail ourselves.

Do we forgive our mothers

when we marry? when we birth

our first child and know what it means

to be utterly responsible, yet never

fit for the job?

Can we forgive her for the men she knew

for the ones who left and the ones who

would never go away?

Do we forgive her silences

her careless pronouncements?

Can we forgive the pain of watching her

speak while no one listened?

her times of helplessness, her loneliness

forgive this world that breaks women

she was expected to mend for us?

Do we forgive our mother who never wanted

a child? who shriveled in marriage?

Do we forgive her when she dies

unable to right the breach from her grave

or do we carry this chasm to our own

meeting her there on the shore

still carrying our anger tidy as steel chain? 

If we do not forgive our mothers

what do we have of life?

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I have a Ph.D., am a victim's advocate, college-level educator, and was shunned by my maternal biological kin and their family friends over a decade ago. I have built an international community of daughters (and sons) committed to supporting one another and thriving despite the aggression of our relatives. “Sedna” is the EuroAmerican name of a revered Inuit Creatrix who was violently rejected by her parents and cast into the sea to die, but instead survived to create otters, seals, and whales.  Sedna is also the name of a star just appearing in the farthest reaches of our solar system and discovered by astronomers on November 14, 2003. Nick Anthony Fiorenza writes that "Sedna's message here is that humanity must recognize the truth about the suppression, persecution, abduction and exploitation of the feminine force in the world; and this mentality perpetuating such must be addressed and changed." Healing women is my life's work. See my Facebook Page at https://www.facebook.com/SednasD/

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