“Do not forget that it is summer. Have you slowed down, taken days or weeks of vacation, let the air have access to your body, explored nature, or let your toes out of your shoes?

It’s not too late.”

—Anne Wilson Schaef

It is time for my annual Cauldron Month! A toolkit for diving deep into the cauldron of b2ap3_thumbnail_67331903_2388530981359110_7778153556506312704_o.jpgyour own being is available here.

A Cauldron Month is a term I use to describe taking some conscious, deliberate "time out" to steep in your own knowing, to let new things bubble to the surface of your life, and to deeply consider the current brew of your life: how does it taste? Is there something you need to scoop out and throw away? Is there a new flavor you want to add? Are you savoring your life or are the elements that need more time to meld and blend into a more delicious whole?

One of the things I re-membered in the Cauldron last year is that time in the Cauldron isn’t always comfortable and comforting and creative. Sometimes what comes bubbling up is painful and frustrating or involves old hurts, old patterns, and old habits. Healing entrenched patterns of behavior and thought take time and the path can be a wandering one. I feel like I moved through at least three "icky" points during my cauldron time in 2018--in that something that feels painful, unbearable, frustrating, destructive, resentful, comes bubbling up...after I give myself time to sit with it, to feel the feelings, to cry the tears, to feel the disappointment or anger or fear, to write about it and think about it...then it eases, fades, or feels like it reaches a point of resolution--as if it has been "processed" through me. It has been an interesting experience, though also a somewhat painful one.

Something that particularly bubbled up for me and has continued to bubble this year is a recognition of b2ap3_thumbnail_sunflowers.jpghow often I come from a place of “could” in my life/work/commitments. Not the odious and obligatory should but a more slippery creature...the Could. As in, I have this capacity, so yes, I could...why not?! Continuing to do things based on shoulds is an insidious pattern, yes, but continuing to do things just because I can or just because I have the ideas/resources/reserves to do so is a little most complicated and confusing to evaluate even as I see how these “coulds” begin to deplete my energy/power in just the same way as more obvious should-based tasks...

So, I've been asking myself what freedom might be found in stepping back from both Could and Should and seeing what remains? Is it Desire? Is it Freedom? Is it just listening to your heart? Perhaps it is intuition and the soul who sing in the free spaces...

  • What would you still like to experience this summer? It is not too late!
  • Related prior essay: Sustaining Myself