I wait for you at the

Dark waning of the Moon.

 

I wait at the crossroads

And, my silence reaches

Out to draw you back to me.

 

I have called to you as

The Maiden who knows

The power of her desire.

 

I have held out loving arms

To enfold you as only a

Mother can do to comfort

The child that has strayed.

 

And, now I wait in the power

Of age and wisdom that

Has seen all and can see

The truth or dishonesty that

Spills forth from seeking lips.

 

I am cloaked in the darkness

But those who have the

Courage to come to me

See the truth of my hidden

Light that burns brightly

With the lantern of time’s

Ancient mystery.

 

This post is the last of three about the Triple Goddess Hecate and her gifts expressed through the face of Maiden, Mother and Crone. This is the final journey of the lunar cycle that brings me to seek the wisdom and guidance of the Goddess in her form of the Crone. This is also the place in my own life, where I have crossed the threshold and entered the Gates of deep wisdom and the ultimate return of my experiences as they may serve as guidance for others. On this night of the 4th quarter phase and the waning of the moon I enter into this exchange alone and with humility in seeking out the Goddess of the crossroads and magick. I will call to her as the Crone whose power is found in the silence that is born of true gnosis. Hers is the power that summons you from your own place of silence and calls you to action from the wisdom of your experiences. She calls you to stand in your full power with courage and strength. And, so, as I settle into my space of meditation, I call upon the courage needed as I know this will not be an easy journey and the mantle I seek is one of great responsibility.

 

I stand at her crossroads and the air is thick and still. I see Hecate’s form, the Crone of Wisdom rising up in front of me. She stands before me and I bow in reverence, averting her gaze and hoping she will not see my fear and doubt. She has the appearance of great age, dressed in thickly layered black gowns and hood cloaking strands of long grey hair. Her face is etched with wrinkles and her great power is not masked by gentleness in this form; it is palpable and oppressive; stern and commanding of respect as one of long life and great vision may expect. She holds a lantern that is dimly lit in one hand and an intricately carved rowan staff in the other. Before my words are uttered she knows what counsel I seek from her and black pools of penetrating eyes seem to flow forth, seeing into the very depths of my soul.

 

I stand at her crossroads and visions of the encounters before flash before me. I remember the joy I felt in running with her as the Maiden and the gentle rocking of the Mother’s womb. I feel the strength of these memories and in answer to a question I have yet to ask, the power of her presence swirls about me. She reaches out and extending a long bony finger beckons for me to follow her. I hesitate briefly, calling up my courage and I know that nothing goes unnoticed by this wizened being. Her energy reaches from behind and pulls me forward, urging me to keep pace. The roads merge into one that slopes gradually downward. Despite the light of her lantern, blackness thickens quickly around us. Silently, reverently we spiral down into the depths of the underworld; into the depths of myself and my own place of remembering and knowing. Stories of my life whisper around us. These are my memories of all that has brought me to this time and place in my life; all that has brought me to seek the wisdom and the mantle of the Crone. I feel the loosening of Hecate’s pull and realize that I have been moving of my own intent for several moments.

 

The way is dark but instinctively I know the path. This is a road I have traveled at the end of each lifetime. There is no fear of staying too long in this place, I know that this is not my final trip on this life’s journey. I continue to move forward and I see just ahead of me the silhouette of Hecate‘s form and move towards it eager to be closer in step with her. As I approach, this silhouette appears to glow dimly from within its form and she turns to face me. Looking upon this being’s face I am surprised to see that it is not Hecate, but my own. There is a depth of recognition, yet this form appears to be constructed of a substance like dense smoke and the facial features shift and move so that I am presented with myself through the many phases of my life. I see the child with bright inquisitive eyes. I see the young girl filled with great ambition and plans. I see the young woman standing backstage and looking at a mirrored reflection of herself that even she cannot believe is the ballerina she has come to be. I see the face of the bride, looking with love filled eyes upon the man with whom she has chosen to share her life’s journey. I see the face of the mother, looking at each of her children with pride and great love for the life that she and her husband co-created. I see the face of myself as I am now, mature and greying and looking back are eyes that hold volumes of stories and experiences yet to be shared.

 

The form changes once again and it is now Hecate who stands before me. I hear her words saying that she and I are one and feel the weight of their meaning. She tells me that the mantles of Maiden, Mother and, now Crone have always been within my grasp. I am told that we each must move through these cycles and these changes and the acceptance or denial of their power matters not. They are still part of our being and those who seek to know of their mysteries will step fully into their power. These courageous souls will become those who take up the path of teaching, mentoring and guiding others on the path to the Goddess. I think on these words and they seem to echo all around me, enveloping and embracing me.

 

I breathe in deeply and call out my name with renewed power and strength. In witness of Hecate and all those paths of my life that have defined and molded the person I have become, I declare myself- “I am Robin. I am Crone”. I repeat this affirmation of self-hood; the intent and sound lifting me upwards and I find myself standing at the center point of the Crossroads. The air has changed and I feel alive with its energy. I look up at the dark night sky and see sparkling star light. The Goddess stands before me issuing the final challenge and silently offering a mirror. Unafraid and fully present in myself I look eagerly into the reflective surface. Each line, each wrinkle earned from years of life’s experiences. Reflected back is the face of a Crone and as the years of my life continue there will be more memories that will mold and shape the face reflected.

 

The mirror fades from my hand and I see the Goddess smiling back at me. There are no words needed, and I silently offer her my gratitude for all she has shown me in this cycle of Three. I will seek out her wisdom at the turning of the cycles of the Moon. I will seek her in her many faces and I will heed her lessons that I may give freely of my experience to others that they may seek her as well. I will remember my promises to her to find the place of balance in attending to my own needs so that I may better care for others. To seek out what is a new beginning in the places where I have been stagnant and stressful. I will recall the memories of past joys and successes as inspiration and will seek the beauty in discordant as well as harmonious action.

 

I breathe into the space of my meditation and as I exhale I am no longer at the crossroads. I have come full circle back to the place of my sitting with a renewed sense of purpose. I breathe in deeply and I open my eyes taking in my surroundings filled with renewed purpose and ready to learn, to teach and to share.

 

 

I am ready to take on the work and accept the responsibility of this mantle woven from my life’s story. This is my place as a Crone and to this end I will honor the Goddess and myself, seeing in each I interact with a reflection of her many faces.