Priestess Grove: Blossoming on the Spiral Path

A Priestess is a woman who acts as a conduit between the Heavenly and the Earthly realms, as our world shifts and turns and re-awakens it's ties to the Divine Feminine the role of the Priestess is once again coming out into the light of day. The Priestess Grove is a sanctuary of Priestess tools, ideas and inspiration to encourage the growth and re-emergence of Goddess consciousness back into the third dimensional world.

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Thanks Be to the Blood

I love my moon time, I love everything about it. 

 

I love the powerful esoteric mysteries that accompany my moon time and I love the earthy, fecund experience of bleeding.

I love the release.

I love the intentions.

I love the regenerative energy.

I love the internal wisdom that it opens space for.

I love the bulge in my belly that deflates once the blood has flowed.

I love teaching my maidens about the power.

I love the blood web that connects me to my ancestors and my sisters.

I love my moon time.

 

Over the past 22 months I have had two moon~times, though I have bled plenty. I bled when my unformed baby was going back to the stars, tidal waves of gushing blood coming quicker and quicker until I was on my knees willing myself not to pass out from blood loss for fear that the hospital wouldn't release me to return to my home where my beloved daughter was. I stood back up and made it to the hospital bathroom, head spinning, skin tingling to a chill as the room spun and I heard clots of blood splashing into the toilet like rocks being thrown into a creek, and once again willed myself to make it back to the hospital gurney without passing out. The blood covered the hands and arms of the kind OB as she informed me that I indeed needed a DNC because there was just too much blood. Then came a green walled surgeons room and black nothingness and then not a drop of blood, I was done. Bled out it seemed.

 

A month later came one of the two moon times that I have had in the last 22 months, with this moon time I intended to release my loss and celebrated the potential for another pregnancy, and that's just what happened, just one cycle and voila, another pink line, another chance at life.

 

More blood was to follow, six weeks after that pink line, another visit to the emergency room with a deflated heart, I knew what blood meant for me, this is how it had all started last time for me, blood in pregnancy meant death. Same plastic chairs, same nurses faces, same blood flowing while the baby that I hoped for sat in limbo in my womb. You can imagine my wonder when the doctor showed me the blood test results (more blood) that showed my HCG numbers rising, this didn't make sense to me, I was bleeding. That sweet man of a Doctor assured me all was well, I even took him into a back room to show him the pad that I was bleeding onto, I needed him to see the blood and tell me that the scientific numbers obtained from the flowing blood was indeed correct in it's hope. He smiled and handed me the paper with the HCG results and told me to pull it out at night when I got scared.

 

One week later and there was more blood, more tests, and still more hope as my baby did have a heartbeat, though this doctor's eyes looked less comforting than the first, a low heartbeat matched with continued blood flow, followed by a loss not two months ago and fate seemed to have sealed our destiny, this baby and I.

 

I spent the next two weeks between that ultrasound and the next waiting to see if the blood would increase of if my baby's heart rate would, I played Native American drumming to the baby hoping to encourage a stronger heart beat and prayed that the will of the Goddess be done, whatever that may be. Still the pregnancy marched onwards, when the heart rate came into the normal range we celebrated, the baby still didn't feel like a real actuality that would come earth~bound, but at this point of my journey, I've learnt to celebrate the moments that call for celebration and to leave the scary unknown to tomorrow's grace. The pregnancy continued with seemingly no flaws at all, nothing beyond a sinking feeling that continued to grown in my gut. I just knew that I was not going to make it out of this pregnancy alive. The few people that I confided this fear in dismissed this knowing and my secretive Scorpio self stopped sharing my fears.

 

One night I held my then 2.5 year old in my arms, laying with her until she fell asleep as I do every night, my hand on my womb space, trying to connect to the baby that didn't feel real, convinced that she, we knew she was a she now, would take my life. And silently I began to cry, "please," I prayed, "I know we choose 5 different exit points to our life, if I chose this as one of mine, please close it, I don't want to die, I don't want to leave my daughter, please keep me here."

 

Here comes more blood, after that prayer a week passed and then I had my OB's appointment. I laid back on the OB's table as she listened to the baby, I explained to her that I was not feeling the baby move as often or as easily as I'd like, she was happy to feel her move as she listened to the heartbeat, and I told her, "see I don't feel that," her brow furrowed. More tests followed, and although I had passed my first Gestational Diabetes test with flying colours, I had somehow developed GD in the end of my pregnancy, and this led to daily blood pricks and daily injections of insulin. Now I didn't feel close to death, but once again my baby did, while I knew that GD can be a safely managed occurrence in pregnancy, that cloak of death didn't leave me, it just felt like it transferred to the baby. 

 

Blood, blood, blood, life, death and blood the three of them seemed to be following me wherever I went and all I wanted was my safe and secure life back, but blood is transformative and her mysteries don't leave us women alone, they are the medicine that we are here to hone in our lifetime in the female vessel.

 

Despite my diet and exercise the GD did not get better, it got worse and it became medically necessary for me to have a c-section just a day past my 38th week, more blood as they cut me open and pulled my body back and forth, the metal table creaking beneath me as my body shook back and forth and back and forth until finally, a baby was pulled out of me, covered in blood, blood I didn't get to see because, despite my protests, they insisted on cleaning her off. They brought her to me and she was a living breathing baby, all of my foreboding was for naught? Alas, in the recovery room as I went to nurse, my little darling wouldn't nurse, she was going limp and was taken from me and rushed to the NICU. 

 

Here it was, my disaster.

 

Blood, more blood, as I was shipped back and forth between cities for greater NICU hospitals I bled as I healed, I bled as I was wheeled to and from her room and when she finally came home with us I almost broke down over tiny drops of blood seeping from my c-section wound, convinced that it would lead to hospitalization and separation from this baby that had thwarted the angel of death with me, which it thankfully didn't. 

 

I healed, we healed as a family, and my perfect daughter, named Estrella after the stars, has proven to be the most cuddly and easy baby I have known.

 

We had a re-birthing ceremony, the girls have been to a craniosacral therapist to heal from the trauma of the birth and hospitalization, I have deepened my practice and life has been lovely, light and a relief ever since. Life has been light and it has been airy, I have opened up to Sprit and my vibration has been at an all time high, I have remained grounded in dry earthy energy tending to my children, and I've been flying high in the realms of airy inspiration, I've been in this world but not of it, I've been ethers and dirt and didn't even notice the lack of fire and flow until yesterday, yesterday when the floodgates opened up and you guessed it, blood!

 

Oh that sweet, irony, deep, dark burgundy turning bright ruby red river that flows out of me, I had dreamed of her for months leading up to her first shedding postpartum and she has been powerfully nurturing and deeply feminine. I am wet again. Wet with blood and life, stem cells and uterine lining running down my thighs, eggs floating on a rich tide of life into my lap.

 

Yesterday  I let me eldest daughter know that Mama's moontime had started again, I didn't know how much she would remember of my moontime as she wasn't yet three the last time that I had it, she was fascinated as she stood in awe of what was coming out of me, "Daddy!" she called out, "come and see Mama's blood!" 

 

He showed appropriate awe at my blood, the three of us standing in our small bathroom as my bubble bath ran and Gracious asked me whether I would bleed in the bath and why it was that I bled. She had me explain to her Daddy about the nest in my womb and the eggs and the blood and the moon and red web of women that I am connected to. Her Daddy told her how sacred her first blood would be and our little home was in reverent celebration over my blood.

 

With the door shut and a welcome moment to myself I sank into the sparkling orange bubbles, blessing the water and receiving all of the warmth that the tub could offer me. As I lay there in blissful rest I had a slow moving felt-memory of the past year and a half play out within my womb, in the orange inner glow of my wombspace I saw and felt all that I had walked through, the pregnancies, the losses, the stress it brought my spirit, my marriage, the toll the year took on our daughter, the hospitalization of my baby, all of it, and I had a rare moment of tears springing to my eyes, a brief thought "this is what I am releasing with my first blood," and as the thought whispered in and out of my womb I felt a pop and a gush and though I had told my daughter that blood ceases to flow in water, out it came as I released and let go of the pain that I had been holding in my womb space.

 

I cradled her, that bloated fluffy womb and thanked her for all that she had carried me through, thanked her for the life of my daughters, for my life and for being with me and holding the wisdom of women within her, within me.

 

Today was a sacred day, my husband took the girls out for the afternoon and I just lounged, once-upon-a-time pre-children I used to have what I called 'cat days' where I lounged and indulged in not having any tasks, I had a mini-cat day, a cat afternoon. I texted my best girlfriend, had another bubble bath and sat down to write. 

 

I have cleaned out my blood jar, filled it with fresh blood and placed her upon my blood red altar, there she sits holding the mysteries of the universe, the lifeblood of my veins within her and on the Full Moon I will return her to the Earth with prayers of thanks, and she will sanctify and bless the black crystal that has been working with me over the past month and a half.

 

For years I have taught about the release of our moontime, about the letting go of what no longer serves us, stagnant energy, toxicity and in all of that time I had forgotten that I was not only releasing what was no  longer serving me, but that I was releasing life, vibrant, potent life! The energy that no longer serves me comes out as pure life force and is used as pure energy, there is not opposite to life, to love, in the All, all that flows from me that wasn't serving me anymore comes out as perfection, transmuted and transcended by the Mother of All in the Earth. What lay in front of me in that jar was a liquid, power filled red pool of magic and energy, living, pulsating, creating change, an entity of it's own.

 

My first blood return has awakened a new love in me for my blood, I am embarking on a deeper and more potent journey with my moontime, with my connection to the moon. I am electrified, I am alive, I am lunar, flowing, wet, juicy, vibrant woman.

 

Thanks be to the blood.

Thanks be to the Goddess.

Thanks be to the women.

Thanks be to the ancestors.

Thanks be to the blood.

Thanks be to the blood.

Thanks be to the blood.

 

Grace Be With You,

Priestess of Grace,

Candise Soaring Butterfly.

 

 

image taken from:https://i.pinimg.com/originals/42/fe/40/42fe406e81493deba9af0ccd4b4d2b42.jpg

 

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Candise is an ordained Priestess, a professional psychic channel, writer, workshop, ceremony and ritual facilitator and an energy worker.
She is a Priestess of Grace who works with the Butterfly Spirit which is her totem.
Candise practices a faith that she has named 'Lunar Mysticism'. In mysticism we acknowledge One Source and recognize all else as human hypnotism. In Lunar spirituality we embrace duality and marry it, forming non-duality. It is through the practice of Lunar Mysticism that Candise utilizes ritual as a tool to see beyond the hypnotic suggestion of this realm.
Priestess' have practiced the art of marrying the energies from this Earth realm and the Higher realms together for many moons now.
Mystics endeavour to find Source behind the suggestions of illusion.
Thus the Lunar Mystic approach to life is to marry the Truth of perfection with the human experience. This is the path that Candise Priestess', the Spiral Path of Grace, the path of the Feminine Mystic.
Her services are offered both in person and via distance, one on one or in group settings, depending on what it is that you are in need of. You can find her services at : priestessofgrace.wordpress.com

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