My Mother Path

My path through discovering myself as a mother, teacher and self.

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Reflections on a year past

Sacrifices are made every day.  Some are greater than others.  Some are just things that are put off until a time when they can be brought back out and looked at again.  Some are given up together.  These sacrifices bring on change.  Sometimes we see them as just sacrifices, but if you look deeper, they may be signs of a change in your life, a change in the way you eat, a change in what you have learned, or even a change in how you react throughout your day.

They say that we are in a constant state of learning, a constant state of sacrifice, and a constant state of change.  I believe this is true.  I know when I am preparing for one of my belly dance classes, I may decide to teach the students a new move.  Even if I have performed this move many times in the past, I will research and study to make sure that I am teaching how to do the movements as accurately and physically proper as I can.  When I personally do the movements within a dance, I am not thinking about how to explain them to someone else.  During this time, I may learn something new about the movement that I never knew before.  Or I may learn that I have changed the proper way to perform this movement and have gotten lazy with my movements and find that in my laziness and may be hurting my body by not performing the movement correctly.  I try to remind myself that I need to be open and accepting and willing to give up the bad habit.  Ultimately, this excites me and encourages me to continue on. 

Even as a new instructor at the local business college, I am learning.  I am learning how to teach my students, I am learning about new programs, about new methods, and about how strong I can be.  All this keeps me active and moving forward.

I believe that when one stops learning or stops having the inspiration to learn is when they start to die.

After a light-hearted discussion on this topic with a friend, they believed that you will hit a point in your life where you stop learning and your body will relax.  I suppose in a way they are correct.  Although they believed that this period was when you become older and, as I am sure my kids believe, you no longer need to work or learn.  I believe they are wrong.

I told them that I believe that the body goes into a restful period and this period occurs more often than only at an old age stage in life.  I believe that it is constant.  Sometimes once a month, sometimes once a year.  This gives the body a chance to soak in what it has learned, a chance to absorb and ingrain it into our function or psyche.

Parts of us die every day, yet parts of us are reborn.  It is a cycle that we live in, a smaller version of the world that we live in.  We are like human leaves, falling from a great life tree when we die or stop learning.  The life tree holds onto us and as we give it nourishment, it nourishes us.  But there are times when the leaves turn color and fall from the branches to lay at the ground upon the roots where they decompose and are reabsorbed into the root system and later come back out the branches as leaves again.  Some leaves die completely and are whisked away by the wind so as to not come back out the branches. 

I know it’s a strange analogy but it is one that I often see in my mind’s eye.  It is one that I can relate to.  There are many times in my lifetime that I have felt like that withering leaf, and I have felt the fall to the ground.  But while on the ground I never felt as though I was completely dead, I felt as though I was in hibernation, that the ground was still nourishing me.  That in some small way I was still me, I was still learning, I was still growing.  Then a breakthrough will occur, I will be sucked up into the roots and grow out through the branches again. 

Some people are seasonal leaf droppers, they feel the change through each season, and feel a resurgence of change in themselves with the beginning of a new season.  I have gone through phases such as this.  Some are monthly, and some yearly.  Is there a right or wrong way to change?  No, I believe not. 

Your body is in a constant state of change.  They say that every seven years your cells go through a change.  Some people even notice a change in simple outward appearances such as the texture of their hair.  Some are more hidden, such as your taste buds may change.  A food that you once disliked suddenly becomes palatable to you.

Some notice the change as finding it easier to learn something new that they had struggled with in the past.  Some will find it through a period of illness.  Even if you are remotely always healthy, there may come a time when you are sick for a longer period of time than usual, or maybe feel the effects of a cold or other illness more intensely than before.  These are all signs that your body is releasing toxins, or releasing past habits and is ready to absorb new and fresh nutrients or information.

I encourage my students to run with these changes.  You don’t know how long this opportunity may last.  As I explained to them, when you are in the cycle of a change, test to see what other areas may be changing. 

One student noticed a slight variation in their handwriting style.  Then when they looked at older handwritten papers from 10-15 years prior, they noticed that the new variation was similar to the past style of writing.  They were surprised when they checked their journals and noticed this change.  They were able to track three changes by going through their journals.  All three were in nearly seven year increments. 

Not everyone will see the same results, but as one older student told me, it showed her that even though she was in her 70’s, she was still changing, still learning, still growing. 

This past year has been one of my growing years.  I had many changes during this past year.  I am very thankful that I was able to recognize that this was happening and that I was able to set aside my fears and embrace these changes.

I am still growing and still changing.  Again, these periods of transition, metamorphosis, change, or growth can be as small as an hour, a day, a week, or even a year.  But when you feel that you have picked up all the nutrients that you can absorb for that growth period and you are ready to become that new bright, shiny leaf, you will feel the growth.  You will feel the sprouting.

The new term has started for the business college that I work at.  Even though the last term was quite challenging, I am finding this new term just as challenging.  I am teaching at a new campus, new students, new requirements, and new methods.  All these make for a new me.  I am welcoming the new information, the change at doing things differently, a chance at being away from my family for the first time since their birth, a time for the shoe to be on the other foot in that my husband stays home and I am the one to be gone through the night and day, and a chance to make myself into an even stronger woman, wife, mother and friend.  I get to release old habits and try on new ones.

I hope you all are experiencing your changes to the best that you can, I hope you are able to push your changes to see how far you can go at this time.  As the old adage states: “You never know unless you try.”

 

Here’s to a blessed new year to you all!

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I am a wife and mother of three children, a Reiki Master Teacher, a Belly Dance Instructor as well as a very curious creature.

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