My Mother Path

My path through discovering myself as a mother, teacher and self.

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Finding Peace and Stability

These past few months have been increadibly hard. I've tried throwing myself into various studies, using this isolation/quarantine time to my best. 

Yet, I find that inside I'm hurting. I've loved having my family home and around me, yet, there's an ache. 

I've talked to other empaths and it seems that they have been feeling the same. 

My daughters, who are both in their later teens, did not argue or desire to go out and socialize. I mean, what teen doesn't want to socialize? We became a house completely content with staying within our own four walls.

Yet, we each had an ache.

We slowly stopped watching the news, slowed our reading and connecting on social media, and minimized our grocery shopping. We didn't implode, but we turned inward.

I didn't have the motivation to write. I started out cooking and baking, then my health started to give me hints. I needed to take better care of myself. 

So I researched and decided to change my diet. I have lost 20 pounds and am proud of myself. 

I also spent my time crocheting and perfecting some new stitches.

And I took classes. I studied and learned which lead me to a new job that I can work from home. 

All this makes me happy, yet sad. The little business that I had been working at is struggling, At first I was laid off, now I'm only working a day or two. We don't need the income per se but it did help. It gave me something to do, a purpose, a job. Maybe that was part of the ache, I had lost that.

My little shop was struggling.....still is. I fight daily with the urge to close up, then I have a night where sales are great, then a day or two with not a single soul walking through the door. I"m only opened three days a week, much like other businesses in the town, but we are all struggling. 

I'm at peace with closing, but I have friends and family that encourage me to stay. So here I sit, in my shop, on one of the days that I'm open, and I watch out the door and windows and see that there are no people walking the sidewalks like before.

What is the answer? For once, I cannot sense my direction.

But I find stability in my home. I work the land and create new outdoor spaces for us to enjoy, I work within my house to organize and change the furniture around to spush out any stagnant energy and bring in new brighter energy. This is all I find peace in outside of my family and friends.

I hope you are able to find peace and stability as well.

Many blessings ~ 

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I am a wife and mother of three children, a Reiki Master Teacher, a Belly Dance Instructor as well as a very curious creature.


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