Living the Wheel: Seasonal Musings of the Pagan Year

Thoughts and musings of the wheel of the Pagan Year.

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Spring Forth

 

   Every year Spring finds me wishing for change. Changes in lifestyle, changes in work success (or the significant lack thereof), changes within myself. Change takes work. It takes dedication, determination, and a 'stick-to-your-guns' attitude, none of which I feel I have. Case in point, I have left yet another dead-end job, one that paid well, but had absolutely nothing to do with my life goals. I had decided to stick it out, for the money if nothing else, but my husband sat me down one night and told me enough was enough. I am home again, for now, scouring the job market, refining my resume, and working on all the projects that I had tossed aside in despair.

    I have pointed out to my husband that I can't just keep thinking of myself; whether or not I am happy with the work I am doing is irrelevant: the point is to help provide for our family. His response has been to take a look around the house, show me what I've gotten done in just these few days I've been home, and indicate how happy our youngest son is knowing I will be there to pick him up from school every day. I am beginning to realize that the changes I have been longing for all these years have nothing to do with money or success or things, but with happiness.

    I am never so happy as when I am home, keeping house, drafting stories, editing articles, answering emails. I find happiness in every aspect of my day when my day consists of tasks I set myself, and the rewards are (usually) instantly visible. No, I am not going to wax poetic about cleaning my stove, but starting my day by lighting a candle to Hestia on the stove top and then wandering into the living room to meditate is a sight different than rolling out of bed at 5:30, leaving by 6:00 for a half an hour drive, then spending the next six hours biting my tongue lest I say something utterly inappropriate.

    We create our own happiness, the sages say, and this Spring I intend to create as much as I can. I will seek it in the birdsongs of each morning, in the quiet moments of meditation I now have, and in the sound of the keys as I type. I will find happiness in the cool morning air when I drive my sons to school, in the soft damp dirt as I clear my garden for this years' planting, in the warm elasticity of bread dough. Plotting, planning, always writing, with pen or computer, my happinesses are found in the sphere of domestic ritual. Others reading this find their happiness in the thought game, either in front of a classroom, in front of a courtroom, in hospital halls. Happiness for still others lies in working with their hands: carpentry, art, cooking.

    We all want to be happy. We all feel an elusive something as Spring descends upon us, waking a part of our soul we didn't realize slept. I for one, often feel that I begin to fall apart as winter progresses, and by the time Beltane arrives I am literally a wreck, both physically and emotionally. This year was no different, though instead of dumping it all on my ever-patient husband I instead filled a brand-new journal in about six weeks. I hesitate to go back and reread it, filled as it must be with anger and despair. I will not go back to it. I will move forward, stepping into Spring with my head high and my soul filled with light and hope. I will plant happiness and sow the seeds of success this Spring, caring for my family and home while revising my craft. I have mailed two more book manuscripts to publishing houses thus far, begun an online class on Hans Christian Andersen (a true master of children's literature, I think), and written two articles, plus finally coming back here to SageWoman. I have accomplished more in five days than I have all winter. Is there any wonder why the season is called 'Spring'? We spring to life, we are a wellspring of hope, of wonder. Inspiration springs anew.

    I wish you joy this season, joy, happiness, hope; allow all of these to infuse your soul, your daily round. Do not be afraid to seek that which makes you happy. Allow happiness to spring forth into your life, invite it in, live and love in happiness. Blessed be.

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I am a writer and poet living in western Massachusetts. I have a degree in English Lit, with a focus on the nineteenth century, and am working toward a degree in Women's Studies as well. My work has previously appeared in The Pagan Activist, The Pagan Review, GrannyMoon's Morning Feast, and The Montague Reporter. I am currently working on a series of children's books, a novel trilogy, and a poetry manuscript (I simply can't do one thing at a time!). I also have several random fantasy-based short story projects that I attack once in a while.   I am a Dianic Pagan and practice Kitchen Wicca, and am also a Reiki Master. For a glimpse into my own little corner of reality, you can stop in and visit me at Ellie.

Comments

  • Dragon Dancer
    Dragon Dancer Wednesday, 04 May 2016

    Blessed Be and I'm so glad to hear of your recent happiness! May it continue. I feel like I'm going through the same thing in many ways. I'm just coming out of a VERY long (6+ months) illness that worsened a standing chronic condition that I already live with. Plus I didn't realize just how bored and unhappy I'd grown with my current career (mostly because I'm with a /great/ company that I'd be a fool to leave without really good reason) until I got a particular email about two weeks ago from a mailing list I'm on. The Universe, your Higher Self, the gods bring to you what you need when you're ready to receive it. And boy was I ready, more than I knew till it slapped me upside the head.

    I just started classes with an online company called Skillcrush - I'm learning web design and development. I mention it because it sounds like it might be something worthwhile for you to look at too? A way to augment your publishing prospects and your blogging, and start bringing in money in a way that would allow you to stay home and set your own schedule.

    I'm not at all affiliated with Skillcrush except as a new student (class started on Monday), so I'm not saying this to gain anything. I'm just really excited about my own prospects (something I've not been...probably since I first went into college from high school 20+ years ago), and I wanted to mention to you in case it might be a good fit for you too. In any case, I do wish you the very best in whatever you wind up doing!

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