When you've put forth energy and intention toward something miraculous coming into your life, the waiting can be the hardest part.
In the past two weeks, though, something outside my control that I wanted for years has come to pass. Something for which I had given up wishing and let go as impossible. A friend I hadn't heard from in a decade came back into my life.
After a great deal of worry after hearing of his rapid decline in health and then years of nothing, I'd thought him either dead or at the least, that he didn't wish to continue our friendship any longer.
He had been a dear friend and an important part of my life for many years. To lose him to depression and medical issues was a heartbreaking experience, but he's back, and it's all thanks to my precocious toddler.
My son had grabbed my phone while I changed his diaper, and since it distracted him from his usual game of Kick Mama in the Head, I let him play for the duration of the cleaning.
A day later I had a few messages from friends explaining why they did not accept my LinkedIn invitation--one I had no knowledge of sending. After a round of apologies and explanations to everyone, I saw a new email. My lost friend didn't know what LinkedIn was, but he wanted to reconnect. We've been talking by phone and online for more than a week now, and I've been elated to have that connection once more. Whatever one might say about chance, I choose to see this return as a reminder that sometimes the requests we put forth are answered with a "Yes."
At a time when my every endeavor seems up in the air, out of my control, and awaiting word for the feedback of others, having my friend return gives me a little calm amid the storm. It reminds me to trust that once I've done the best work I can, I need to surrender the illusion of control and allow my goals to be realized.
Though I await word from a publisher about a novel, and a grants committee about funds needed for my volunteer work as deadlines loom, I am calmer now. I am trusting in the work I've put forth, and surrendering to flow.
The waiting is hard, but the rewards are worth it.