Awakening Goddess: Empowering the Goddess Within

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Empowering Each Other To Dis-Empower Bullies

Posted by on in SageWoman Blogs

Maybe it was naïve of me, but it never occurred to me before this morning that a person could be a racist feminist.

Personally, I find all forms of oppression and bullying equally abhorrent.  I believe all humans (all sentient life, really) deserve love and respect from the beginning to the end of their lives, no matter what they look like, who they love, how much they have, what language they speak, or what they believe.

I have never understood racism, or homophobia, or sexism, or childism or ableism or any freaking hateful -ism.  I have always been fascinated by people’s differences, in a “wow, look how many ways there are to be human and to experience life” kind of way.

This morning I read the words and watched the video in the following link, about the racist and sexist attacks Leslie Jones has suffered in the last weeks and how few white feminists have stood up for her.  You can see it here: White Feminists Need To Get In Formation For Leslie Jones

Years ago, for my mental health and emotional well-being, I stopped watching, listening to, and reading news except that which is filtered through friends who I know and trust on Facebook.  When something important comes up in my news-feed, I look it up.  This way I don’t have to wade through all the hateful crap and outright lies that real news is  buried in, and silly stories can’t distract me from important stuff.

So the hell Leslie Jones has been through came as a complete shock to me.  I was so angry I was crying, in empathy for Leslie, for what she must have felt and still be feeling from all that vicious cyber-bullying, and that’s not even the worst part.

Having been fat all my life, I know a little bit about what it feels like to be called names, lose job opportunities, and suffer many other little indignities that add up based on my appearance.

From a young age, I was the one who stood beside the least popular kids in school and stuck by them in friendship against the bullies who tried to tear them down.  As an adult, I'm learning how to use my white privilege to the same and more.

I know how good it feels when someone stands beside you against the ugliness.

And I know how horrible it feels when someone you expect to stand by you, doesn’t.  And worse, what it feels like when it seems no one cares enough to stand by you.


That’s the worst part of being bullied – feeling alone, like no one cares, or worse, like everyone hates you.

That's the goal of bullies - to isolate, dis-empower, and subjugate their victims.

When we witness bullying and choose to turn a blind eye to it, we empower the bullies and dis-empower their victims.

There is so much bad going on in the world, it's overwhelming.  If feels like we can't possibly stand against every wrong we see.  For sanity, many of us have adopted the Polish idiom, "not my circus, not my monkeys."

The thing is, especially for we who believe that we are all ONE: this world IS our circus, and all people ARE our fellow monkeys.

We can make this world a safer, more beautiful place to live in a bunch of tiny ways that add up.

What's more, we have a responsibility to ourselves, each other, and all children to make this world safer, healthier, better.

What we need to do is empower ourselves and empower each other.  This is how we disarm bullies.  They need access to our vulnerabilities to hurt us, and when we stand together, in love and compassion for each other, our vulnerabilities bind us, becoming a source of strength.

There are many ways we can disarm the cyber-bullies and real-world bullies.  We can:

Take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, so we can give the best of ourselves instead of what is left of ourselves.  (Get plenty of sleep, good nutrition, reduce exposure to poisons in junk food and toxic cleaning supplies, spend social time having fun with good people, meditate, journal, spend time in nature weekly if not daily, have orgasms, etc.)

Demand Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, and other social media companies implement and enforce anti-bullying policies, and use the policies they already have (report racist, sexist, etc. posts, memes, videos, etc.)

Tell people that their racist/sexist/etc. words and actions are unacceptable.  Stop laughing at mean crap, and stop giving mean celebrities our money and attention.

Stop buying stuff from businesses that promote mean crap.  Vote with our dollars by choosing where we spend them.

Promote businesses that support equality and our other values.

Speak up for and with those whose voices need to be heard.

Tell the victims that we stand with them, that we care about them, that they don't deserve to be bullied.

Believe victims when they confide in us.

Build our emotional intelligence skills.  (Here is one resource of many.)

Listen to people when they tell us that our words or behaviors are oppressive, and change our words and behaviors to be supportive instead.

What else?  What other ways can we help to make this world a safer, more loving place for us all?

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Ashley Rae published her first book, a memoir, in 2012, and has been a professional psychic, healer, and teacher since 2003. Ashley's goal in life is to help you empower the divine spark within yourself so that you can love yourself freely, make your life awesome, and make this world a more beautiful, compassionate place. Visit her website to check out her other blog, find out her schedule, book an appointment and register for her classes.


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