Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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Senate Republicans Send Letter to "Islamic State"

**** SATIRE *****

AP: Washington, DC

Speaker of the House John Boehner (R) and 46 Senate Republicans have sent an open letter to the leaders of the self-described “Islamic State.”

The policies of our so-called 'President' towards ISIL have been failures from the word go,” said Boehner. “A Republican administration created this problem, and a Republican administration will fix it.”

The letter, which has not yet been released to the press pending receipt by Caliphate authorities, purportedly offers recognition of national sovereignty in return for unspecified “support” during the upcoming presidential election.

Boehner laughed off suggestions that the letter offered ISIL the possibility of full American statehood.

 

“It's true that we share certain visions for the future, but for now at least, I don't foresee a 51st star on the American flag,” he said. “Think about it: it would be a design nightmare.”

 

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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.

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