Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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Not Real Witches: Homophobia in the 'Chilling Adventures of Sabrina'



Well, that's disappointing.

In the most recent season of camp-fest The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Sabrina's current love-interest, warlock Nicholas Scratch (get it?) has saved everybody's butt by absorbing the Dark Lord into himself.

(I'll spare you the back-story. Trust me, this is TV: none of it makes any sense anyway.)

So, is anyone grateful to Nicholas? Ha. Instead, the girls at the Sabrina-universe equivalent of Hogwarts are giving poor brave Nicholas shit for being the Dark Lord's bitch because he's taken him inside of himself.

(This, of course, is ridiculous. Just because I give you access to my butt doesn't make me your bitch.)

Now—sorry as I am to say it—we know very well that this kind of homophobia goes on in literally every high school in America. Still. (Gods help us, if there's a queer high school out there somewhere—which I'm virtually certain that there isn't—this kind of homophobia goes on there, too. Alas, queer people are not exempt from homophobia.)

Of course, it's disheartening to see this kind of behavior on a show which—if not exactly good on queer issues—has been at least passable, if barely.

(The supposedly “bi” cousin's bisexuality lasted for all of one season; now he's paired off with a woman. The “gay” relationship is between a fae and a trans guy. [In these tokenistic times, straight screenwriters just love pairing up the gay guy with the trans guy. That way they get to check two boxes at one fell swoop.])

I mean: talk about unrealistic. It's easy to tell that these are TV witches, not real ones.

In this situation—playing host to the Dark Lord Himself—real witches would never be giving Nicholas shit for acting gay.

Real witches would be giving Nicholas—lucky guy—shit because they're jealous.

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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.


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