3 of cups from Robin Wood Tarot

I love getting the 3 of Cups in a tarot reading.  It clearly depicts celebration and joy with smiling girls that are dancing in a circle enjoying life, each holding a cup as they dance about.  Perhaps they are at a party or maybe it's just 3 friends getting together at someone’s house to have a good time.  It’s usually a reminder to the client to get out and have a good time.  Let your hair down and let loose.

A shadow side of having fun is not the “not having fun” part, but the reasons we aren’t having fun.  Sometimes we take life too darn seriously and refuse to have any kind of fun.  Yes, as adults we have many responsibilities. There is so much work to do with taking care of our children (if we have them), household chores, paying bills, our jobs, etc, that we don’t take the time out to have a good time with friends or let our own inner children come out to play.  It’s ok to let go of some of the responsibilities and have a good time every once in awhile.  When we refuse to have fun because we have “too many” responsibilities, we run the possibility of becoming rigid and bitter.  Our lives become constricted because we have too tight of a hold on it, trying to control every little aspect. We want our kids to have a great life growing up so we enrol them in activities, keeping them busy; wanting them to experience what life has to offer.  We spend time driving them to their activities, making sure the house is in order and the bills are paid.  We spend a good part of our day working outside of taking care of our families, whether we work outside of the home or if we have a home based business.  Sometimes our expectations are so high, trying to make everything perfect for everyone around us that we just forget to bring fun into our lives.  We want everything better than it is right now and we work hard to get it.  The thing is, it’s not going to get better if we don’t allow it to.  We have such a tight grip on our control that we are strangling ourselves with our responsibilities and our goals.   We need to release our grip a little in order for the breath of fresh air to come in and replace the staleness that resides there.  Let’s face it, keeping that tight of a hold, trying to control everything, gets tiring.  Sometimes to the point where we are too tired to even TRY to go out because we would rather sleep.  We deserve to go out and have a good time.

On the flip side of that, sometimes we don’t take our responsibilities seriously enough and go out with our friends all of the time.  Life is a non stop party that needs to be lived, right?  There comes a point when constantly going out is a disruption to our home life and/or work life.  We let go of responsibilities and spend all of our time having fun.  Too much time with friends has broken up marriages and serious relationships and has lost people their jobs.  The significant other stays at home taking care of the children and the home duties while the other person lives it up with their friends.  Obviously not everyone partakes in drugs or alcohol when they go out with friends, but many do, and a constant overindulgence can lead to going to work hung over, still drunk or not even showing up at all.  The money that should be used for our responsibilities is gone and we don’t have enough money for groceries, bills, or even rent.  It’s not this extreme with everyone but it is happening out there and if we aren’t careful, we could end up there.  It can be quite the slippery slope.    At the very least, its can make waves in serious relationships.  There are so many layers to this side of the shadow and you really have to look at the situation carefully and truthfully in order to determine how deep it goes.  There may come a time when professional help must be sought.

Being an adult can really suck the fun right out of life but it doesn’t have to be that way. There has to be a balance between the two in order to live harmoniously.   We can find ways to be responsible and still have a good time.  

If you don’t have enough fun in your life, make plans to go out a couple of times this month with your friends.  Put on your favourite song while you are making dinner and dance.  Buy a couple of squirt guns and have a spontaneous water fight with your loved ones.  Try to do something small every day that will bring you joy, even if it’s singing at the top of your lungs in your car.

If you are going out alot, be honest and look at how much you are going out and cut it down as much as you can.  No more than once a week would be best.  Look at the “to do” list at home and do a few of them.  If you don’t have a “to do” list, make one.  If you have a significant other that has been doing more than their fair share at home, give them the night off, or better yet, go out together.  Take responsibility for your actions and apologize to them.

With some effort, you can find that balance between fun and responsibilities.

See you next month!

This months affirmations:

            “I allow myself to have a good time and laugh”

            “Having fun is good for my health and my soul”

           “It’s ok for me to be away from my friends”

           “I take my responsibilities seriously”

This month’s quote: “You gotta have fun. Regardless of how you look at it, we're playing a game. It's a business, it's our job, but I don't think you can do well unless you're having fun.” - Derek Jeter

Journal prompts

Am I trying to control things too much?

Where in my life can I release a little control?

Am I having enough fun?  Why or why not?

Am I avoiding having fun? Why or why not?

What am I avoiding by going out all of the time?

Am I unhappy with my significant other? Why?

Why do I avoid my responsibilities?  

Song – All I Wanna Do – Sheryl Crow Quote