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A beloved and well-respected community elder fell gravely ill.

Word went around that at such-and-so a time on such-and-so a day, people were to enact the Great Rite on his behalf.

And so it was.

Uncle Wolf died peacefully not long thereafter, knowing that dozens of people had been making love because of him.

If you're of an ecumenical frame of mind, you may want to stop in at your local Eastern Orthodox church next Orthodoxy Sunday, the first Sunday in Lent.

That's the day every year on which the Church holds a ritual to publicly curse its enemies.

I kid you not. One by one, they name those that disagree with them, living or dead—heretics, they call them—and proclaim: Anathema! Anathema! Anathema!

Jeez. And people think witches are spiteful.

Of course, some churches take this ritual more seriously than others. Some American Orthodox don't even do the anathematizing any more.

But some of the whackier, out-on-the-end-of-the-branch Orthodox churches—and if you think pagans can be weird, believe me, we are mere pikers by comparison*—take it very seriously indeed, and carefully update the list of curses every year.

Even so, I almost swallowed my gum when I saw this one:

Beltane is right around the corner, so this is a great time to make some incense for your Beltane celebration.  Here’s a fun recipe that’s easy to roll and could be the perfect companion to your Beltane rites.  While Beltane is strongly associated with fertility, remember that fertility is about more than sexual reproduction.  It is also about bringing new ideas and plans to fruition.  It’s about moving from planning something to bringing that project to life.

At the crucial moment of our Spring Equinox ritual this year, I screwed up the chant.

Today, April 14, we're having a blizzard.

Now, do I honestly believe that there's any causal connection between those two facts?

No, of course not. Of course I don't. There is no connection whatsoever between a botched ritual nearly a month ago and today's weather.

 Hurray, hurray, the First of May:

outdoor f**king begins today.

Imagine: you live, in what is essentially a one-room house, along with your spouse, your kids, your parents, grandma, and an unmarried sibling or two.

Maybe even the cow.

All winter long you've been stuck in there with them all.

The whole smokey, stinky, crowded winter, with nary a moment of privacy.

Finally, after all those months, it's—almost—warm enough to slip off to the woods for some long-awaited quality time and a little surreptitious love-making.

At an elevation of 3,743 feet, the Brocken is the highest peak of the Harz range, Northern Germany's highest mountains. At such an altitude, winter lingers long.

That's why the witches go there for Walpurgisnacht.

We go there, they say, "to dance away the snow."

An ocean and a continent away, here in the American Midwest we're in a similar situation. The maples are blooming and the redbirds are singing for all they're worth, but yet another winter storm is bearing down on us, and we could well be seeing another 8 to 12 inches of snow this weekend. The Winter that Won't Let Go has still got us in its icy grip.

You can see why here in the North, the outstanding religious obligation of Beltane is to dance barefoot on the ground. Someone's got to melt all that snow.

Every year around now we sing the Minnesota May Song.

It’s been a busy winter. As I prepare to be a headliner at FPG Beltaine in a few weeks I find myself contemplating Beltaine as a holiday of healing.