You can't fool us, Mel Gibson. We've been around the maypole a few times, and we've seen your films.

You really like naked guys, don't you?

Well, hey, I'm with you on that one. But here's the other horn of the stang: You really like to hurt naked guys, don't you?

Sorry, Mel, you lost me on that one.

"Holy" Week is coming up, and with the prospect of churches in covid lockdown just like everything else, chances are that lots of Christians will be pulling the old Bible-epic CDs off the shelf.

(No gloating here, O pagan reader: when Beltane rolls around, you'll be dusting off The Wicker Man too, along with the rest of us; admit it.)

No doubt many will be watching that 2004 classic of sanctified pornography, The Passion of the Christ.

(Amazing, isn't it, how that second article transforms an otherwise commonplace phrase into sheerest bombast? And if you think the title is bombastic....)

Give it a look-see, if you can stand it: every lash-stroke laid on with love.

(On second thought, don't bother; just take my word for it.)

And the close-up of the hammer driving the spike through Jim Caviezel's outstretched palm: that's Mel's hands doing the ghastly work. Oh, I see the theological point—laid on, as usual, with the subtlety of a sledgehammer—but, ye gods. To your god you're doing this? Gee, Mel, I'd hate to be your boyfriend.

Years ago I used to date a guy whose flatmate was big into BD/SM. The flatmate had an entire wall covered with dozens and dozens of crucifixes.

Crucifixes and sado-masochism: even a poor hapless pagan boy like me could see the connection.

Ye gods, I'd think every time I went past the crucifix-wall, I'll never understand Christians.

Still, you've got to give Mel credit for genre-bending. A snuff movie with a happy ending: who else but Mel Gibson could dream of such a thing?

Mullein (Verbascum Thapsus) Here is an herbalist’s favorite for healing any respiratory ailment involving congestion coughs sore throats and calms the breathing. Mullein flowers infused in oil are also used to aid earaches. Take one heaping tablespoon of the leaves and steep in one cup of boiling water for no more than 10 minutes. Taken as a tea once, you’ll feel better soon\

Nettle (Urtica dioica) Nettle has been used as a healer for untold centuries and relieves allergies, an immune booster and can even help with a distended prostate. It is also a superfood and beloved for the nutrients. If you are working with fresh nettles, wear gloves to avoid the stinging. Cooking or drying removes any irritant. Any herb or health food store will have dried nettle or capsule form. Make nettle tea by steeping 2 teaspoons of leaves for ten minutes or take the capsules in recommended doses of 300 to 500 mg twice a day.

Maybe there are too many human beings.

Virtually all of our current ecological problems—climate change, among them—come down to the fact that the number of human beings on the planet far outstrips Earth's carrying capacity. If we don't do something about it ourselves, "Nature"—i.e. the gods—will take care of it. (They're doing that now.) Is that really what we want?

Maybe globalization isn't such a good idea after all.

If the world's supply of Thing One is made in Country A, and suddenly for some reason Country A can't produce Thing One any more, then there's a problem. Maybe relegating manufacturing to Somewhere Else isn't really in our long-term best interest. Maybe we need to make locally what we need locally.

Maybe raising most of our food Somewhere Else isn't such a good idea after all, either.

Before World War II, most American cities were surrounded by farm belts. As supply chains stretch thin, can we see why this might be a good idea today?

Maybe routine air travel needs to become a thing of the past.

Face it, routine air travel is responsible for the spread of covid-19. Maybe the airlines are an industry whose time has passed.

Maybe the age of Global Religion is over.

This Saturday, April 4, there is an online pagan and heathen festival to replace the in-person festivals and conventions that were canceled. Bindrune Festival has speakers via podcast and live chat. My recorded podcast Asatru Ritual Basics will go live Saturday afternoon, and I will be available to answer questions during a live chat during my time slot.

I'm really excited to be the Guest of Honor at this Festival. Other speakers will be talking about Celtic, Slavic, and Buddhist topics in addition to more Heathen topics.

Over the past six years, what began as a tiny collection of people in a FB group has evolved into a full-fledged pagan tradition: Modern Minoan Paganism (MMP). Yes, I'm as astounded as you are. One aspect of that evolution is that we've spent quite a lot of time researching and developing relationships with different deities, some of whom we didn't even realize existed until very recently. Today, I'm sharing with you the full pantheon. Beginning next week, I'll focus on one deity per week, sharing their iconography that we find in Minoan art.

MMP is a revivalist tradition. We're not attempting to reconstruct either the pantheon or the religious practices of the ancient Minoans - that's probably not possible anyway, since we can't read their writing in Linear A. But just be aware that this is the pantheon we use as modern Pagans. We honestly can't say whether or not this is how the Minoans interacted with the deities, but it's pretty clearly the way the gods and goddesses want us to interact with them now.

To clear and purify your space and infuse it with as much of your personal energy as possible, perform a ritual sweeping with a favorite broom. I use a sweet-smelling cinnamon broom. These are actually made of pine straw coated with divine-smelling cinnamon oil and set aside to dry for three weeks. Many a grocery store sells them in the fall and holiday seasons. My favorites are the tiny Trader Joe’s whisk-brooms, which are adorable. These make lovely gifts and altar adornments. I ornament mine with cleansing crystals by taking a colored silk cord and stringing quartz beads on them or gluing them to the base of the handle. These gems and crystals are superb for space-clearing and purification:

 Amber for positivity and happiness

When Times are Tough and Money is Tight

First off, you might be asking, "Are you really suggesting that I can work with any crystal, free?" Yes, I absolutely am! We have access to all the crystal in the world, right here from our computer, phone or tablet.

Globally, because of Covid-19, many of us are following the guidelines of "sheltering in place". Not all of us force-ably (by law). But for right now, at least by common sense and safety for the most vulnerable among us.