“And thou who thinketh to seek for me, know thy seeking and yearning
shall avail thee not, unless thou knoweth the mystery; that if that
which thou seekest thou findest not within thee, thou wilt never
find it without thee.For behold, I have been with thee from the
beginning; and I am that which is attained at the end of desire." - The Charge of the Goddess-
Remembering The Joy of Creation
Since discovering my GoddessMuse several years ago, I have worked with women in middle age and beyond to help them do the same through the experience of transformational art.
The idea of creating art can be intimidating to those who have never tried it. There are so many expectations. It has to be good. One has to be trained, take serious art classes, study the masters, and learn technique. One must have artistic talent.
When I hear a woman voice these fears, I put a box of 64 Crayolas in front of her, tell her to close her eyes and breathe in the aroma of her childhood. When asked, every single woman has remembered her favorite color from that box of 64. Every woman remembers the freedom to create art before she knew the rules, before somebody sent her muse into hiding by telling her she must color inside the lines. These women remember when trees could be red or purple. They remember when they drew round, or triangular, or square people with stick limbs and presented their art with great pride to those they loved most. They remember the joy of manifesting what they saw with their mind’s eye.
If you desire to create a deeper connection with the Goddess within, practicing transformational art, the manifestation of your own muse, may be just the ticket. If you are one of the many for whom the joy of creating art was lost or suppressed, I hope you will be inspired to get thee to the nearest cache of school supplies and get your hands on the big box of 64 Crayolas, open it up, take a big whiff and then pull your favorite color from the pack. I know you remember which one it is.
Big Bang Goddess
This manifestation of Mother Gaia, my Big Bang Goddess, has been years in the making. Perhaps that is appropriate, since we all know the world was not created in a day. Likewise, She has taken Her good time in teaching me the virtues of patience with the execution of this painting.
When I started the piece several years ago, I was yet unaware that I was acting at the behest of my primary muse. I was only just embarking on my journey to the Goddess; a neophyte to the belief of feminine divinity. I did not strongly identify the Goddess within.
I have since formed a deep connection with my liaison to Her, a guide I call the MAD Goddess. I named this guide who reveals the many aspects of the Goddess to me as the champion of my Middle AgeD quest to follow my heart’s desires. She is, it turns out, MAD in every mirthful and fearful sense of the word – the Mad Hatter on estrogen, if you can imagine. She is sometimes playfully quirky, sometimes mirthful, sometimes confusing and sometimes entirely maddening in Her methods of revealing Her Self in me.
So, blissful in my ignorance of Her hand at work, I started this painting (as I said, several years ago) with big, blue swirls of cosmic-looking vagueness. I added some stars in the upper left corner. Something in me (Goddess) wanted to add solid form but my artistic skills were still quite lacking at the time, so I collaged an image of a woodland fairy nestled in leaves and moss in the opposite corner. I followed by painting a moon at the top right and my best representation of water at the lower left.
The painting then languished, forgotten for as I learned more about the Goddess, Gaia and Her creation story.
Its second incarnation began when I was sifting through a stack of old dogs (unfinished or unsatisfactory drawings, water colors and other paintings that are recycled into mixed media pieces, or painted over). I recognized my inept attempt to portray the four elements of nature that make Mother Earth, even though I was unaware at the time of painting it.
With an understanding of the Goddess’s role in creation, I gave it another try. Still, my drawing and painting skills left much to be desired so I again resorted to collage elements. Finding a familiar image of Gaia, I positioned her at the center. I then painted a sheet of paper in abstract splashes and whorls of primary colors, letting them blend into all the colors of the light prism. When dry, I tore it in a spiral, and carefully glued the spiral around and out from the base of the Goddess image.
The piece sat for another couple of years while the Goddess energy grew stronger in me. Last week, I rescued the painting from the stack of old dogs once again. I removed as much of the glued images as I could, sanded rough edges and applied modeling paste to cover what I could not remove.
In the years since the MAD Goddess began whispering to me in the voice of my muse, I have become a Priestess in the Feminine Divine Tradition. Part of my studies included writing my own version of the creation story, and as I painted this time, She repeated my story to me; of how the desire to manifest the life-force energy exploded in the Divine Creation of all living things in balance; light and dark, sun and moon, earth, sky, fire and water. Of how the One split into aspects, male and female, Goddess and God, woman and man, so they may perpetuate the life-force energy, re-creating it in the endless spiral dance of, birth, death and rebirth.
Lifted from the dust of my old dog cache, the Big Bang Goddess has been reborn. She is signed, framed and hanging in a place of prominence. This time, I am deeply satisfied with my results – and it only took ten years. Can you hear the MAD Goddess muse chuckling over her lesson to me in patience and perseverance? I can.
Please login first in order for you to submit comments