An animist & spiritual naturalist explores feminine spirituality... the hunter emerging from the numinous wilds to gather with her sisters.
Moon Adding Weft Back Into My Warp
In the midst of my studies and quickening social and family life, it has been a refuge to gather with the women at the monthly circle. Their energy is gentle and genuine, and they speak my language. In the isolation I found myself in for the past few years, I hadn’t realized that – besides the loneliness of my world being greatly reduced to my own household and family – I had lost having anyone to talk to who knows anything of magic and spirituality. For the first time, I was alone in those waters.
Well, I was kind of alone in them in my youth, but in a less lonely way, since I was in a more magical thinking type of society (though less spiritual than they’d like to think) than the society I’m in now. So the waters were broader back then, when I explored alone – I never felt alone.
This has been more like a small cave lake, where the spirit-fish are quiet, if present at all.
It is interesting to me that coming back out of the underworld, into the sunlight and warmth of new friends, and renewed dedication to mothering my family, and reconnecting all the connections, has brought connections to moonlight, as well.
I suppose a cave provides no access to the moon, and holds lessons in darkness, with perhaps a starscape of glowworms, or a luminescent fungi, here and there.
I am grateful for those lessons in darkness, but it is time for my rebirth into the sunlit and moonlit world.
Not only has Artemis / Diana come, but Cerridwen, too. I made a board on Pinterest that I named “Lady of the Moon” and started filling it with art, not knowing why I felt like doing that, having identified myself more as a Sun worshiper over the years – at least in adulthood – and I have no Sun board there, thus far. Perhaps in keeping with the balance that is a theme of my life, Moon takes her place, now, too.
So I kept coming across Artemis, and now Cerridwen (both have connections to the sun, as well) is appearing in the art and media I browse, and I’m feeling very drawn to her. I seem to be strongly drawn toward my Welsh heritage, even though it appears to be farther back in my line than the Scottish, Irish, English, Dutch, German, French, etc. There’s something about that language and that mythology and that bardic tradition that calls me. Taliesin has always been a hero of mine. Now his Mother, the Mother of Poetry, as they say, is with me. I will have to add her cauldron of awen to my altar. Awen is the holiest word I know.
Related to the women’s circle – tomorrow I’ll be starting to attend a folk-singing group at the same place, led by a woman who received her voice-training in Wales! I’m so excited about this! I can’t wait to finally get music back in my life.
I’ve been looking for songs to sing up the sun, so now I’ll be looking for songs to sing up the moon, too. I'll be using my awen, my breath of life, poetry, and inspiration, to sing beauty to them.
I’m also noticing a pull towards creativity, and I’ve been aching to write, here on this blog, poems, stories, books, maybe songs… more right-brained stuff than the left-brained academia I’ve been doing for the past year. My balance lets me be adept at both, but the right-brained, creative, feminine, moonlight, arts, mythos side of things has always been my deep home and native language. But as I grow, my identity is balance and I gain the other, as well, to stir in my cauldron, and weave on my loom, and offer whole to the world.
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