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Acts of Devotion: Broken Open

In February of this year as the full moon sat high and proud in the sign of Virgo a phrase came into my mind in the dark hours of the morning: broken and blessed.

 

I sat with this phrase pounding through my brain and circulating round and round in tempo with my blood.

 

Broken and blessed.

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At first glance it seemed that it went against so much of what I believe and teach. I believe in wholeness, the sacred, our connections to each other as well as our fellow flora, fauna and fungi, even down to the bacteria in my gut. That is a vision I share with others-warriors for the wild world, plant healers, indigenous people, those who walk a path that locates spirit and sacredness in our sweet and wild land—this is not a vision of what is broken, it is a vision of what wholeness might look like.

 

And besides, while I have made peace and in many ways integrated my Baptist upbringing into my beliefs and practices one notion that I had consistently rejected was the imperative that I had fallen and was in need of redemption-that I was broken and waiting for God to make me whole.

 

I know that according to books, public figures, and well known teachers that this attitude of focusing on, celebrating, and living in wholeness and connection should have made me feel empowered, insightful and of course complete.

 

It did not. 

 

And on that February full moon my heart spoke out in clear, precise speech: broken and blessed. At first I took it as a reminder that I, that we, could be broken and blessed but since then I have come to believe that one state actually infers the other.

 

Shortly after hearing this phrase I heard author and activist Mirabai Starr speak about the Jewish concept of Tikkun Olam-the broken world. Something shifted inside as I found a story that reflected what I was feeling and coming to know. 

 

There is much to say about how and why we are broken-and where we go from here. If, like me, you follow and earth based path and you feel this sense of broken-ness too it also brings up questions about our relationship to the Divine.

 

I plan to think an write more about those topics later but for now I wanted to simply share the practice of devotion that is letting oneself feel the broken state of the world, of ourselves. To refuse to turn a blind eye to help heal and hold and restore whenever possible.

 

For me Our Lady of Guadalupe is the emblem of holding a space for what is broken. It is believed that Guadalupe is actually Catholicized ancient Nuahatl Goddess or Earth and Fertility called Tonantzin-as such she saw the culture and civilization of Her people broken by European invaders bringing a new concept of God and looking for gold.

 

In the story of her appearance to the Catholic Bishop of what is now Mexico she appeared to a broken Juan Diego-a humble man, low in stature, probably socially right up there with slaves. Yet his vision of the Goddess-radiant and surrounded by spears of light eerily reminiscent of the sacred Agave plant and exuding the fragrance of roses-vision was so penetrating and vivid that those in power were compelled to listen to him.

 

Mexico would have its own blessed Virgin-a Goddess who joined her sisters in the timeless story of holding, weeping over, and restoring to life a dying God. A mother who saw her child/brother/lover crucified, sacrificed-made sacred, if any one knew about being broken and blessed it is She.

 

She is with us now-as a broken seam of border runs between two countries and the politics of power and violence break apart towns. Women are raped and killed. Children are displaced—should we build a fence? What else is built up when we build a wall? Distrust? Unkindness? A stony heart? What might we build, make, or create instead?

 

 

Much of the border that runs between my Texas home and Mexico is comprised of the Rio Grande river. Large swaths of the river have turned poisonous-polluted by toxic run off from farms and ranches-yet this water still brings healing and restoration to the arid lands-it too is broken and blessed.

It is a line that divides.

It is water that heals.

It is me and in it I see my reflection, rippled out a thousand, thousand times-broken and blessed.

 

Image Credit: Bri Saussy (c) 2012 All rights reserved. If you would like to use this image in your own non-commercial work please get in touch with me and we will work it out.

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Howdy! I am full time intuitive counselor & root magic ritualist living in San Antonio, Texas with my amazing family. My website, Milagro Roots is a popular destination, featuring my latest writings on spirituality, ritual, magic, nature, and divination. I run a small in-house spiritual boutique where I craft ritual oils, cleansing baths, sachet powders, charms, amulets, charm bags, and botanical talismans for clients around the world using many herbs, roots, and zoological finds that I cultivate and grow myself. My writing has been featured on the Association of Independent Readers and Rootworkers (where I am one of the founding members), Elephant Journal, Roots of She, Kind Over Matter, Witches and Pagans, and Plant Healer Magazine. I sometimes refer to my work as high-end hedgewitchery–because I work with many established professionals and artists who wish to use intuitive arts like Tarot and ritual earth-based magic to improve their lives. Everyday I wake up and feel so incredibly blessed to be doing the work that I know I was meant to do-whether its working in the garden, cuddling with my son and beloved husband, or talking to the most fantastic clients ever–every moment is saturated with love & devotion to my calling and those who make my work possible.

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