I don’t think that secrecy is a good thing.I don’t think it’s healthy and I don’t think it’s beneficial to anyone.Secrecy is a condition that allows all manner of malevolence to thrive.Secrecy allows wounds to fester in the darkness and spread infection throughout the family system.
I’ve heard 12-steppers speak of the ways in which their families are affected by keeping secret the alcoholism of one or more family members.Keeping that afflicted family member’s secret adversely affects everyone in the family.One rationale for keeping such secrets is shame.
The same is true of families in which there is physical, mental and/or emotional abuse.There is shame attached to allowing domestic abuse to continue.More importantly, there is the very real danger of serious injury or death.
So, about a year ago I was having a conversation with my friend Christopher and a host of others, and we were talking about something very interesting he had heard about.
It's called "the wizard's game." It's a sort of trick old Pagans and occultists play on each other. I may have mentioned it in my previous blog posts, but here's a simple recap: a new person enters into a conversation on a subject she or he are very new to and enthusiastic about. However, this person, we'll refer to the person as "he" for the rest of this analogy, is a bit of a showoff or a know-it-all, or is perhaps espousing some sort of shallow theory as fact.
In any case, they enter the conversation all full of verve and self-righteous "knowledge," which is nearly always designed to irritate people of all kinds, be they "in the know" or not.