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Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in fear
Pagan savings challenge, week ten:  hardships

This past week has been a tough one on the household budget.  If money flows, then my household was at the top of a hill watching it flow down and away at an alarming rate.  When money is leaving faster than it's arriving, it can lead to some interesting reactions . . . such as a stronger urge to spend what you've got, to stock up for bad times.  Or to choke off the flow entirely and preserve what you've got, even though this will also likely stop the inward flow as well.

It's hard to save money when it feels like you don't have any.

On the other hand, it's a good week for this moneyworking Hellenist to continue saving anyway.  Last week found me saving on Noumenia, and today is the eighth day of the Hellenic month, sacred to my patron Poseidon, who is the financial securer.  I needed this reminder that money's flow cannot be stanched in one direction only, and that security should not be confused with stagnation.

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Posted by on in Culture Blogs

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I'm currently going through an emotionally painful time in my life, which includes plenty of tears, and I'm not ashamed or afraid to admit that. It has got me thinking about a lot more about my future, my place in this universe, and not only what my spiritual path means to me, but where it's headed. I foresee a lot of change this year in my life, and it scares me. Recently, while having one of my less formal 'morning chats' with one of the goddesses, I broke down and began to cry at the overwhelming pressure and fear.

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Recent Comments - Show all comments
  • Carol P. Christ
    Carol P. Christ says #
    Bless you Peter. I too have known the despair you feel now. I am so glad you felt the arms of the divine power holding you through
  • Peter Beckley
    Peter Beckley says #
    Thank you, Carol.

Posted by on in SageWoman Blogs
Courage

As the darkness approaches, I find myself thinking more and more about courage. What is courage? Personally, I think courage is so subjective – there is no one definition that would suit everyone. Yet I shall give it a go in any case.

The dictionary defines courage as: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery. I would posit that courage is the quality of mind/spirit that enables a person to face difficulties, etc in spite of fear. It is just not true that the brave know no fear – I believe that they simply get on with it. There is no such thing as a fearless person, unless that person has not the mental capacity for it, having suffered physical brain or emotional trauma.

What causes fear? For the most part, fear is the unknown. As humans, we crave constancy, security. We’re not especially fond of change, at least in great quantities. We fear what we cannot see – many are afraid of the dark. Is this an instinctual fear, based on what could attack and eat us from the shadows? I had an experience a couple of weeks ago, in my own backyard, where I went to offer some food at my altar – a large dark shadow that was not usually there made me stop in my tracks. A bear, my first thought was. Then my brain worked through the processes of logic – there are no bears in Britain. I’m not in Canada anymore. What animal would be big enough to create this? A stag? Would he attack me in this, the rutting season? No, he couldn’t get through the hedge with his rack at this time of year… After going through these thought processes (which probably took less than a second) I simply stepped forward to investigate, and found it to be a large branch from the beech tree that came down in the high winds. I smiled at the brain’s way of dealing with it and made my offering, honouring the darkness and shadows as well.

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Posted by on in Culture Blogs

Young Hermes finds his grandfather sitting on his throne pensively gazing across his island lost in thought.  “Grandfather tell me a tale.”

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“My tale is a tale of heartache and joy lost,” said his grandfather, never once looking at the child at his feet.

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  • Jamie
    Jamie says #
    Thank you again for recounting the God lore! I like the child/grandparent storytime motif.
  • Melia Brokaw
    Melia Brokaw says #
    Happy to share! I'm glad you like it!

Posted by on in SageWoman Blogs

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Ten years ago I had the courage to attend my first Womongathering. Womongathering was a four day women’s spirituality festival in the woods of Pennsylvania. I had been reading about it since 2001 when I found the Womongathering newsletter at a local pagan store. It was a dark time in my life. I had nightmares almost every day, suffered from panic attacks and saw my therapist at least once a week. Some times I saw her more often, especially if I had a mental breakdown that week.  Mental breakdowns consisted of me crying hysterically, afraid to leave my room, and could be brought on by almost anything. I desperately needed to go somewhere safe. I needed to find the strength to continue. I remember my now ex-husband dropping me off at the gate. I was terrified making my way into the festival without him. I was so afraid to be alone back then. All the women at the festival were so friendly, but I was too scared to notice.

 

I spent my first night at Womongathering curled up in my blankets, clinging to my teddy and crying. Here I was, twenty-five years old with my teddy bear as a lifeline. No one could have guessed that the bulky book bag I took with me everywhere wasn’t full of books-- it held my teddy bear. I was doing a lot of inner child work and dealing with the memories coming up because of it. So with my therapist’s approval I was at Womongathering looking for something to switch on inside me. I hoped that an event full of women honoring Goddess energy would give me the change I was looking for.

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  • Ashling Kelly
    Ashling Kelly says #
    My first Womongathering was in '97 (and wrote about it for Sagewoman in '99), and while it sounds like a cliche, it changed my lif
  • Paola Suarez
    Paola Suarez says #
    What issue of Sagewoman was your article in Ashling? I have an issue with an article about Womongathering from 1999 but it's writt
  • Khrys Exposito
    Khrys Exposito says #
    I love the artwork! As an attendee of the Womongathering festival that Paolo spoke of attending, the drawing drew such wonderful f

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

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For the month of April, we are dancing with the devil inside.  In the Universal Waite deck, the devil card depicts 2 humans, 1 male and 1 female, chained to the black pedestal that the devil is sitting on.  The chains are loose, suggesting that they could remove them if they wish, but they are choosing to keep them on and are a representation of emotional and mental bondage.  The humans are naked and have horns and tails, the female has a pomegranate indicating fertility and the male has a flame indicating desire.  The Devil holds a flaming torch, appearing to light the tail of the male, signifying lighting his passion.  The black pedestal and back ground suggests ignorance and the unknown.  The devil wears an inverted pentagram on his head suggesting a mental delusion.  The devil himself is a symbol of our obstacles, vices, and fears. 

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Posted by on in Culture Blogs

b2ap3_thumbnail_The-Hermit-SP.jpgMarch’s shadow card is The Hermit.  We are still in the winter months and it is the time of year where we go in and work on our inner selves.  I did not purposely choose this card but I find it fitting that it was a random draw.  This is very much a card of introspection and deep searching.  It is one of seeking guidance and knowledge and looking within oneself to uncover the truth.  The card from the Steampunk deck by Barbara Moore and Aly Fell shows a man standing on a heap of rubble holding a lantern and from it, emitting what appears to be lightening.  In the book, Barbara Moore states that the pile of rubble signifies the information and ideas that he has collected in his journeys.  He appears to be an older gentleman with a long graying beard, further suggesting a wise and sage person who has spent their life accumulating the knowledge that he is standing on.  The lantern suggests that he not only holds the answers in his hands but there are new sparks of ideas that are itching to get out.

 

The shadow of this card takes solitude to the extreme…spending too much time by your self, being withdrawn from your family and friends, cutting yourself away from everyone.  It can also indicate paranoia, or fear – fear of being by yourself, fear of your thoughts or feelings, fear of your journey or what you might find out.  Fear holds us back from many situations so we keep ourselves in seclusion to keep from getting hurt, but it doesn’t really work.  What we end up doing is hurting ourselves in a different way…we don’t go out and live life, experience it.  If we don’t experience pain, can we truly experience joy?  Ignoring our thoughts and feelings doesn’t make them disappear; we have to face them eventually, as difficult as that may be.

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